CHARMED 7X08: CHARMED NOIR ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON WB: 11/14/2004 TRANSCRIBED FROM WB Written by: CURTIS KHEEL Directed by: MICHAEL GROSSMAN Transcript by Intrepid Courtesy of http://www.webphilia.com/~anthology/wnp.html Do not archive this transcript without permission from the Transcriptionist. RATING: TV-PG-LV HDTV ========================== DISCLAIMER: ========================== "CHARMED", "The Charmed Ones" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and (c) by CONSTANCE M. BURGE, AARON SPELLING Television Inc (A Paramount / Viacom Co.) and WB (AOL Time Warner Company). All Rights Reserved. This transcript was made without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. For Fair Use, for Entertainment and for Educational Purposes Only. Any reproduction, duplication or distribution of this material in any form is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain. CONDITIONS OF USE: (1) Do not alter the content of this file. (2) Leave the headers/disclaimers intact because it lists all those who have made this transcript possible for your enjoyment. (3) Provide a link back to the site where this file originated: http://www.webphilia.com/~anthology/wnp.html Contact the Transcriptionist at (intrepidly002@yahoo.com) ========================== SUMMARY: Paige asks Kyle Brody to help her solve a murder at Magic School and both are transported to a 1930's mystery novel. Meanwhile, Leo's complete transformation has Piper hesitant about an immediate reconciliation. ========================== CHARMED 7X08: CHARMED NOIR ========================== FADE IN: [TRIQUETRA LOGO] HOLLY MARIE COMBS (NARRATOR): (v.o.) Previously on Charmed... [Scene from 7X07: Someone to Witch Over Me] [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - NIGHT] (The Creature Head swirls around. It zooms in through the crystal circle and heads straight into Leo.) WHITE FLASH TO: [INT. MAUSOLEUM - LEO'S VISION 2] (Leo and Alpha talk.) ALPHA (AVATAR): With good, there is always evil. So the battle never ends. [INT. BLACK VOID - LEO'S VISION 2] ALPHA (AVATAR): That is what we represent, Leo -- a better way. [INT. MANOR - KITCHEN - DAY] (Kyle Brody looks through the Book of Shadows.) KYLE BRODY: Hunting the new power for years has made me realize that there's some awful things in this world. I just like to think that there's some good things, too, to balance it out. Like you. TRIQUETRA FLASH TO: [INT. MANOR - MAIN HALL - NIGHT] (Leo kneels down next to Piper's dead body, the Sarpedon's razor-sharp talon still embedded in her abdomen. He reaches down and caresses her neck. Alpha leans forward.) ALPHA (AVATAR): It might not be too late if you'll join us. (Leo nods.) (Cut to: Alpha shines a beam of light at Leo transferring the Avatar powers to Leo. It engulfs Leo.) TRIQUETRA FLASH TO: [INT. P-3 - NIGHT] PAIGE: Ever hear of the Avatars? LEO: (shakes his head) Why? PAIGE: That's what the demon called the New Power. LEO: I will look into it. (Paige nods.) FADE TO END OF PREVIOUSLY ON FADE IN [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL -- DAY] (Miss Donovan, the Magic School Librarian, reads titles off a stack of books while Mr. Monkeyshines, another Magic School Teacher - a Gnome -- grumbles about them and gives the reasons why the books should be banned.) (At the back of the room, Paige sits on the couch working.) MISS DONOVAN: "Lord of the Rings". MR. MONKEYSHINES: Historically inaccurate. MISS DONOVAN: "Harry Potter". MR. MONKEYSHINES: Filled with juvenile delinquents. MISS DONOVAN: Even "The Wizard of Oz"? MR. MONKEYSHINES: Disparaging to little people. Munchkins being persecuted. (Miss Donovan whirls around to gape at him.) MR. MONKEYSHINES: Filth! (Paige puts her things down on the table and stands up.) PAIGE: (exasperated) Oh, come on. Seriously. MISS DONOVAN: It is the same story with all the books. None of them deserve to be banned. MR. MONKEYSHINES: I suppose you want another naked Godiva riding out of the book again. PAIGE: Is that what this is all about? Godiva? MISS DONOVAN: It's just an excuse and he knows it. He's using it to push his own agenda, which is to stifle Freedom of Speech. (Mr. Monkeyshines waves his hands and magically shuts Miss Donovan's mouth. Completely) MR. MONKEYSHINES: Ha! That's what I call stifling. PAIGE: That is uncalled for. You give her her mouth back now. (He waves his hand again and her mouth returns.) MISS DONOVAN: Why, you little worm! I should -- MR. MONKEYSHINES: Little! Did you hear that? She's a size-ist. MISS DONOVAN: What?! I didn't-- PAIGE: Okay. Miss Donovan, would you please just give us a moment, okay? (Miss Donovan sighs and steps aside.) MR. MONKEYSHINES: It's always the ones you least expect. PAIGE: Professor, please! You have to understand, she is a Librarian. (Paige walks over to the stack of books.) PAIGE: Books are her life. Besides, I don't think she's wrong. None of these books are dangerous. (She picks up the top-most book and reads its title.) PAIGE: "Crossed, Double-Crossed?" This doesn't even look magical. MR. MONKEYSHINES: Just look at the cover. It's filled with violence, I'm sure. PAIGE: You haven't even read that? MR. MONKEYSHINES: Didn't waste my time. It's garbage. PAIGE: Are you kidding me? The thirties were a fabulous era, ok? Drama, passion, intrigue. (Leo lingers in the doorway.) LEO: Uh, excuse me, Paige. Sorry. Could I talk to you a minute? PAIGE: (to Leo) Just a minute. (to Mr. Monkeyshines) Professor, the next time you attempt to ban books, how about you attempt reading some? (Paige leaves the room.) (Mr. Monkeyshines walks over to the stack of books and picks up the book, "Crossed Double-Crossed". He opens it and leafs through it.) (Suddenly, the book starts to glow, a bright-white light emanating from its pages that engulf the gnome and sweep him into the book.) (The book falls to the ground and closes shut.) (Camera lingers on the cover: "Crossed Double-Crossed", by The Mullen Brothers.) CUT TO: [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - STUDY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (The door opens. Paige leads Leo into her study.) PAIGE: Thank you for saving me from that little gnome. I was about to strangle him. LEO: You're welcome. (Leo shuts the door behind him.) LEO: How'd you like to return the favor by, say, uh, baby-sitting tonight? PAIGE: Um, hmm ... no. That's all I do here, Leo. I baby-sit. I baby-sit students, I baby-sit teachers ... I baby-sit. LEO: Come on, Paige. Please? It's the only way Piper will go out with me, if I can get somebody to watch the kids. PAIGE: You asked Piper out? And she said yes? LEO: Well, I haven't actually asked her out yet. She's been a little unapproachable lately. PAIGE: Maybe it's because you've done this kind of miraculous turnaround? Maybe you should just ease into things a little. LEO: Well, that's why the date. Phoebe's been helping me plan it out. She's giving me some tips. Come on, please. PAIGE: (sighs) I really don't want to. I just don't. I don't -- LEO: (interrupts) Thanks, you're the best. (Leo orbs out of the study.) PAIGE: Leo! CUE SOUND: MISS DONOVAN SCREAMS [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Paige walks back into the Great Hall. She walks over to Miss Donovan who is staring at something in front of her.) PAIGE: What is it? What's going on? (Paige turns and sees Mr. Monkeyshines on the floor dead, his body riddled with bullets.) PAIGE: What happened? MISS DONOVAN: (shakes her head) I don't know. FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS (COMMERCIAL SET) FADE IN. [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - STUDY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Miss Donovan sits on the couch and cries. Paige walks over to her carrying a box of tissue and offers it to her.) MISS DONOVAN: Thanks. (Miss Donovan takes several tissues.) PAIGE: Miss Donovan, are you sure you didn't hear anything, see anything? MISS DONOVAN: No, when I came, he was lying there, dead. (She blows her nose.) PAIGE: Okay. What is so strange about this is that magic school is meant to be protected. Nobody can get killed here, let alone with bullets. MISS DONOVAN: Well, it did happened before. Once. PAIGE: What?! What happened? MISS DONOVAN: Well, about twenty years ago, there were two students. Brothers. One of them killed the other. Maybe it's him. (Phoebe bursts into the room. She's in a rush.) PHOEBE: Okay, let's make this fast. I've got a city of lonely people, and I'm playing Cupid. (Phoebe walks around the couch and notices Miss Donovan.) Oh. Miss Donovan, why are you crying? PAIGE: It's one of our teachers. He -- PHOEBE: (interrupts sympathetically) Oh, did he break your heart? Well, you called the right person. I can handle this. PAIGE: No-- PHOEBE: Shh! Cupid works alone. (Phoebe kneels down in front of Miss Donovan.) Now, did he hurt you? MISS DONOVAN: I - PHOEBE: I know, I know. It hurts. But you can't give up on love. (Miss Donovan tries to explain, but Phoebe continues.) PHOEBE: It could be the biggest mistake you ever make. (Miss Donovan tries again.) PHOEBE: Now, I could fix you up with one of my readers because I'm doing this series in my newspaper where I'm playing matchmaker, and I actually have one in mind for you. PAIGE: (interrupts) Wait! He didn't break her heart. He was murdered. (Miss Donovan starts to cry again.) PHOEBE: Oh. MISS DONOVAN: It was awful. (Phoebe stands up and backs away.) PHOEBE: (to Paige) Why didn't you tell me that? (Paige gets up and follows her.) PAIGE: I tried to, but Cupid shushed me. (to Miss Donovan) Miss Donovan, until we figure out what is going on here or who did this, nobody can leave the school. MISS DONOVAN: I didn't kill him. PAIGE: Then I'm sure you won't mind staying until we figure out who did. Crystals, circle. (Paige waves her hands and orbs the crystals around Miss Donovan, encasing her in the crystal cage. Just to be sure, Paige sticks out her finger to test it. The cage holds.) PAIGE: Let's go talk in the other room. PHOEBE: Okay. (Paige and Phoebe leave the room.) [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Phoebe and Paige walk into the Great Hall.) PHOEBE: So, what do you think, Nancy Drew? Lover's quarrel? PAIGE: Hardly. She hated him. Everybody did. That means the entire school is suspect. (Paige leads Phoebe over to Mr. Monkeyshines. Phoebe realizes that he's a gnome.) PHOEBE: What? Wait. A gnome was shot? That seems awfully human, doesn't it? PAIGE: Yeah. I'd say we were definitely out of our league. We don't do bullets. We need to call the police. PHOEBE: Did you try Darryl? PAIGE: I tried. He hung up on me again. Look, the way he feels about magic, he's not coming here any time soon. PHOEBE: So I guess we're on our own. PAIGE: We could try Kyle. PHOEBE: What, Brody? You wanna tell Brody about the Magic School now? PAIGE: There isn't gonna be a Magic School if the Elders find out that there was a murder on my watch, so we need to solve this fast. PHOEBE: Yeah, but Brody? PAIGE: Kyle. PHOEBE: Ok, look, I'm sorry. I really am. And I tried. I did. But I don't trust him. Therefore I'm gonna continue calling him Brody, and you could call him Kyle because you have a crush on him. PAIGE: I do not have a crush on him. My interest is strictly professional. (Paige waves a book at Phoebe.) PHOEBE: Right. PAIGE: Listen, I'm the Headmistress of this School, okay? So I decide. And I trust him. I need him to do the C.S.I. part of this. Can you please get Piper? Check the book and you do the magical part. (At the mention of Piper, Phoebe perks up.) PHOEBE: (gushing) What about the whole date I planned for Piper? Did Leo tell you about the roses? The roses are great. (Tired of listening to her, Paige waves her hand and orbs Phoebe out of the Great Hall. Phoebe continues to gush, her voice fading as she orbs out.) PAIGE: Home! PHOEBE: It's a great idea. She's gonna walk in-- (Paige leans on the stack of books and sighs dramatically.) CUT TO: [EXT. P-3 (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. P-3 -- DAY] (Piper is behind the bar putting boxes away. She picks up a cloth and wipes a glass. Suddenly, the glass transfigures into a red long-stemmed rose.) (A dozen red roses in a crystal vase appears on the bar. Next to it, another crystal vase with a dozen red roses in it - and so on down the bar till the bar is completely filled with vases of red roses.) (Piper looks around absolutely stunned.) PIPER: All right. What's going on? LEO: (o.s.) Do you like them? (Piper whirls around and finds Leo standing on the entrance stairs holding a long-stemmed red rose in his hand.) PIPER: Leo? What if somebody saw this? (Leo walks down the stairs and makes his way toward Piper.) LEO: I sensed ... there's nobody here. Nobody except the most beautiful woman in the world. (Leo leans against the bar. Piper chuckles.) PIPER: Have you been on top of the bridge again lately? 'Cause I'm telling you, there is not enough oxygen up there. (Leo chuckles.) LEO: It's not that. I'm just starting to see things more clearly now. And the thing I see most clear is you. I want us to start over again. (He gives Piper the red rose he's holding. She takes it.) PIPER: (hesitant) Uh ... like ... right now? As in today? LEO: Well, why wait? Look, I'm not asking for much. Just have dinner with me tonight. PIPER: Um, I can't. Who's gonna watch the kids? LEO: Paige. Don't worry about the club. Rex said he could handle it. PIPER: You talked to my manager before you talked to me? LEO: Well, I wanted your mind to be at ease. PIPER: Yeah, that's not really working. LEO: (confused) Don't you want wanna be with me again? PIPER: No -- of course, I do. It's just - LEO: It's just what? PIPER: It's just different, you know? I've spent months trying to keep you from falling into this psychotic abyss, and now that you're fine, I can't just flip a switch and be all lovey dovey. It doesn't work that way. (The phone rings. Piper answers it.) PIPER: (to phone) Hello? Yeah, okay. I'm on my way. What?! They're beautiful, Phoebe. Now stay out of it. (Piper hangs up. She turns, grabs her bag and walks around the bar.) LEO: She's just trying to help. PIPER: Yeah, I know. Look, Leo, I appreciate the gesture. I do. And I'm not saying no. I'm just saying ... I need some time. LEO: I understand. (Piper leaves the bar leaving Leo alone. As soon as she's gone, Alpha and Beta, the two Avatars, appear.) ALPHA (AVATAR): The roses are lovely. BETA (AVATAR): But you could do so much more with our collective powers. (Alpha picks a single red rose from one of the vases.) LEO: What's the point if I don't get Piper back? (He gives the rose to Beta. She takes it.) ALPHA (AVATAR): I thought we had shown you the point, Leo. A world beyond good and evil. A world without conflict. LEO: Without Piper. BETA (AVATAR): In time, she may return. But for now, you must embrace your new life as an Avatar and help the sisters into the fold. CUT TO: [EXT. BRODY'S BUIDLING (STOCK) - DAY] KYLE BRODY: (v.o.) Come on in. (A door opens.) [INT. BRODY'S APARTMENT (#6) -- DAY] (Kyle holds the door open as Paige walks in. She looks around the place.) PAIGE: Wow, obsess much about the Avatars? (He closes the door.) KYLE BRODY: Yeah, it's pretty much all I've been able to think about since I found out what they were called. (He gathers up the clothes strewn on the leather couch and pushes it aside.) KYLE BRODY: I've been looking for a break like this for a while. PAIGE: Did you find out anything new about them? KYLE BRODY: No, not really. Just, um, you know, pieces. Not enough to figure out how to find them or what they want. (He sits down, leans his head against the back on the couch and sighs heavily.) PAIGE: Um, when's the last time you got out of here? KYLE BRODY: I don't know, a couple days. PAIGE: Oh. Well, how about coming out with me and getting some nice, fresh air. KYLE BRODY: No, thanks. I really think I should - PAIGE: I think that you should come with me and focus on something equally mysterious. KYLE BRODY: Yeah? Like what? PAIGE: Like a murder mystery. We could really use your help. KYLE BRODY: Paige, come on. You know I didn't come here for that. PAIGE: I know. But if you help us, I can let you take a little peek at Magic School. (He looks at her, interested.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- DAY] (Phoebe is in the attic looking through the Book of Shadows. The door opens and Piper walks in.) PIPER: All right, talk to me. PHOEBE: Ok, well, just so you know, the flowers were totally Leo's idea. It was just my idea to get a lot of them, and to have you walk in -- PIPER: I was talking about the gnome, not the husband. PHOEBE: Oh, right. Of course. Well, according to the book, they don't have any natural enemies, but as a species, they tend to piss people off. PIPER: But you said he was shot. Who would shoot a gnome? And why is the "g" silent? PHOEBE: That's a really good question. I think the fact that he was shot in Magic School is what worries Paige the most. PIPER: I don't blame her. The boys aren't still there, are they? PHOEBE: No, she brought them back. They're taking their naps. PIPER: I'm just getting really tired of this. PHOEBE: Oh, don't worry. We'll figure out who killed him. PIPER: No, not the gnome. The husband. PHOEBE: Oh. I can't keep up. He's just trying to reconnect with you. You know that, right? PIPER: No, I know. I do. And I would like to do that as well. Just - (Piper sits down.) I don't know, I can't help but think - PHOEBE: (interrupts) Your guard's up. PIPER: Yeah, and - PHOEBE: (interrupts) You wanna lower it, you just can't. PIPER: And still I - PHOEBE: (interrupts) Feel vulnerable, and you don't wanna get hurt again. PIPER: Uh, could I possibly have a chance to express my feelings? PHOEBE: Oh, yeah. Sure. Go ahead. PIPER: I don't know what to do. I mean, he's been great, he's been really great, and he's totally changed, but ... I can't help but feel ... that something's just not right. It's too good to be true. But then ... I can't just shut up and be happy, right? CUT TO: [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - STUDY -- DAY] (Paige and Kyle Brody orb into Magic School. Miss Donovan is still sitting on the couch. She's reading a book. When she hears them orb in, she closes the book and gets to her feet.) MISS DONOVAN: Well, it's about time. PAIGE: Sorry. Sorry we took so long. MISS DONOVAN: Who's this? (Kyle steps forward, puts his briefcase down and extends his hand as he introduces himself.) KYLE BRODY: Uh, Agent Brody. Homeland Security - Aaagh! (He immediately bumps into the crystal cage and is thrown back into the hallway. He slides along the floor, his head hitting the other wall.) PAIGE: Ooh. Sorry. Forgot to warn you about that. KYLE BRODY: Oh! PAIGE: Are you okay? KYLE BRODY: (groans) No, I'm not. (He gets up, rubbing the back of his head.) So, what is she? Like, a demon, warlock, what? MISS DONOVAN: No. I'm a Librarian. PAIGE: And a suspect, unless you say otherwise. (Paige steps forward and picks up a crystal off the floor. She holds it in the palm of her hand and waves him through.) PAIGE: All clear. (Kyle steps forward. He picks up a book and pokes it at where the cage used to be. Nothing happens.) KYLE BRODY: Yeah. Just checking. (He puts the book down and picks up his briefcase.) KYLE BRODY: All right. If you could hold out your hands for me, please. (Kyle starts putting on his gloves as Miss Donovan watches.) MISS DONOVAN: Why? What are you gonna do? KYLE BRODY: Well, if you fired a gun recently, this will show the residue. (She holds out her hand and Kyle tests for GSR. Miss Donovan turns to Paige.) MISS DONOVAN: I'm telling you, it had to be the Mullen Boy. PAIGE: Who? MISS DONOVAN: Eddie Mullen. I remembered his name now. The kid who shot his brother twenty years ago here. PAIGE: Okay. But how and why would this person come back? MISS DONOVAN: I don't know. KYLE BRODY: Well, she's ... she's clean. She couldn't have done it. MISS DONOVAN: Thank you. PAIGE: (to Miss Donovan) Sorry about that. Can you do me a huge favor? Find out everything you can about the Mullen Brothers. And keep it quiet 'cause I really don't want the Elders to find out. MISS DONOVAN: Very well. PAIGE: Thanks. (Miss Donovan leaves.) KYLE BRODY: Where's the body? [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Paige leads Kyle into the Great Hall where Mr. Monkeyshines' body is. Kyle is more impressed by the books on the shelves that line the walls.) KYLE BRODY: Whoa. Are all these books on Magic? PAIGE: Yes, they are. KYLE BRODY: Any of them on the Avatars. PAIGE: I don't know, but I'll let you look at all of them if you can help me out with this. (He sees the body.) KYLE BRODY: Oh. What is he? PAIGE: He's a gnome, and one of my teachers. KYLE BRODY: Gnome. Great. So now I suppose you're gonna tell me leprechauns and fairies exist now, too? PAIGE: Oh, well, actually, yeah -- KYLE BRODY: Never mind. I can only take so much at a time. (Kyle kneels down next to the body and looks at it.) KYLE BRODY: Well ... the body was moved. He wasn't shot here. PAIGE: How do you know? KYLE BRODY: There's no blood splatter on the floor. (Kyle picks up the abandoned book from the floor near the body.) KYLE BRODY: (reads) "Crossed, Double-Crossed." By the Mullen -- the Mullen Brothers. PAIGE: Mullen Brothers? (Kyle opens the book and flips through it.) PAIGE: It's not finished. KYLE BRODY: Huh. (reads) "The streets were quiet after Shorty died. Too quiet." (He chuckles.) PAIGE: (thinking) "Shorty". (She looks over at Mr. Monkeyshines.) PAIGE: Close the book! KYLE BRODY: Huh? What? Why? (The book starts to glow and a magical whirlwind appears from out of the blank pages of the book. It wraps around Kyle and Paige and sweeps them both back into the book.) (The book falls to the floor with a thud and closes shut.) WHITE FLASH TO: [EXT. CITY STREET - DAY - 1930'S AU REALITY] (Open on a black and white scene straight out of a 1930's silver screen private eye movie. A white whirlwind appears and leaves Paige and Kyle standing in the center of a street. They are two people from the 21st century trapped in a 1930's mystery novel.) KYLE BRODY: What happened? Where are we? (Kyle looks around, perplexed. An oncoming car beeps its horn. Kyle grabs Paige and pulls her out of the car's path.) KYLE BRODY: Whoa! (Paige looks around the neighborhood.) PAIGE: Oh, god, I think we got sucked into the book, just like the gnome. KYLE BRODY: Sucked into the book? PAIGE: Oh, yeah. Don't worry. Magical things happen to us all the time, but ... this is the first time in black and white. (Paige takes off her black robes.) KYLE BRODY: Yeah, black and wh -- how are we in black and white? Paige, what the hell is going on here? (Off screen, we hear car doors slam shut.) LIPS: Well, well. What do we have here? A couple of newcomers. (They turn around and find a couple of men in double-breasted coat step out of a car. Two of them hold tommy guns in their grips.) KYLE BRODY: Aw man, you gotta be kidding me. LIPS: You pals of Shorty's? PAIGE: Oh, the gnome. (to Kyle) Let me handle this. (to Lips) Yeah, maybe we are. What's it to you? LIPS: Don't get wise with me, Legs. (Paige glances down at her legs.) LIPS: You're here for the same reason that Shorty was. You're lookin' for the Falcon, ain't ya? Well, it belongs to Johnny. KYLE BRODY: Look, guys, I think you've got us confused with somebody else. LIPS: Nah, I don't think so. (The gangsters reach for their weapons, but Kyle's faster, he takes out his gun and starts firing at them. The gangsters dive for cover behind their car and a mini-shoot out starts.) KYLE BRODY: (shouts) Orb us out of here, Paige. PAIGE: I can't! My powers don't work! KYLE BRODY: Just run! Come on, run! (Paige runs for it while Kyle holds them off. He takes off after her.) (The three gangsters step out from behind the car cover, hold out their tommy guns and fire. The produce stands that Kyle and Paige run past is riddled with bullets.) (Paige and Kyle safely make it around the corner amidst the hail of gunfire.) FADE OUT (COMMERCIAL SET) FADE IN. [INT. BOGEY'S APPAREL - DAY - 1930'S AU REALITY] (Inside the dress shop, Kyle is changing out of his 21st century clothes into something more in tune with the era. He tucks his white shirt into his pants and adjusts his tie.) (He talks with Paige who is changing behind a dressing screen.) KYLE BRODY: You've turned me into a felon. You know that, right? Breaking and entering, vandalism, theft. PAIGE: (o.s.) Look, it's a fictional store in a fictional world. I highly doubt we're breaking any laws. KYLE BRODY: It may be a fictional world, but those bullets seemed pretty damn real to me. PAIGE: (o.s.) Yeah, well, that's precisely why we need to blend in before those goons come to get us again. (Paige puts her pants aside and reaches for a dress on a hanger. She peeks around the screen at Kyle.) PAIGE: Are you peeking? (Kyle puts on his holster.) KYLE BRODY: Nope. Are you? (Paige makes a face at him before ducking behind the dressing screen again.) KYLE BRODY: Do we have any chance of getting out of here like the gnome did, only alive? PAIGE: (o.s.) I don't know. I think the book expelled him after he was killed. Same thing must've happened to the Mullen Boy. KYLE BRODY: Wait a minute. I thought -- I thought he was killed by his brother. PAIGE: Well, I think everybody thought that because they disappeared at the same exact time. Maybe he's still here. (Kyle puts on his jacket.) KYLE BRODY: Well, we gotta find him then. I mean, if he wrote the thing, he's gotta know how to get out of here, right? PAIGE: (o.s.) Although, if he does know, why wouldn't he have left? I mean, it's been twenty years. (Paige is finished and steps out from around the dressing screen. The camera starts at her legs, then slowly pans up her dress.) (Kyle is busy looking through a phone book, his head buried in the book.) KYLE BRODY: I don't know. But if we find him, then maybe he can, you know - (Kyle looks up and stops.) KYLE BRODY: We can, uh ... Wow. You look great. PAIGE: Thank you. (She flutters her eyes and poses.) Do I look like Lana Turner? KYLE BRODY: Right out of "The Postman Always Rings Twice". The good version. (Paige walks past Kyle over to the table with the accessories.) KYLE BRODY: You know, um ... you may not blend in very well in that outfit, there, Lana. (Paige puts on some lipstick.) PAIGE: Well, I'm thinking as long as we're down here, we might as well have some fun. KYLE BRODY: Yeah, well, you have fun. I'm gonna just survive. (He finds the number in the phone book.) KYLE BRODY: Here it is. "Mullen." (Approaching sirens get louder. Kyle looks up.) KYLE BRODY: You think they're coming after us? PAIGE: I don't think we should stick around and find out. (Outside, the police car pulls up and parks.) KYLE BRODY: Come on, out the window. Let's go. (Paige runs over to the window and finds it closed. Kyle rushes over to open it.) KYLE BRODY: I got it. (He opens the window and Paige slips out just as the front door bursts open.) (Inspector Davis steps into the shop. He sees the curtains flapping in the open window.) INSPECTOR DAVIS: Go around back. Try and pinch 'em. (Lieutenant Snyder steps into the shop.) INSPECTOR DAVIS: You think they're after the Falcon? LIEUTENANT SNYDER: Isn't everybody? But if they think they're gonna get it before we do, they got another think coming. (Inspector Davis leaves the shop. Lieutenant Snyder looks around.) CUT TO: [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL -- DAY] (Open on the book on the floor, "Crossed, Double-Crossed".) (In the Great Hall, Miss Donovan talks with Piper and Phoebe, both looking for Paige.) MISS DONOVAN: I'm telling you, I don't know where Paige is. I haven't seen her since she sent me to get these files. PHOEBE: But you were her prime suspect. How did you get out of the cage? MISS DONOVAN: Well, she let me out after her cop friend exonerated me. PIPER: Daryl? PHOEBE: Brody. PIPER: She brought him here? (Not happy about it in the first place, Phoebe nods.) MISS DONOVAN: He wanted to see the body. That's why they came this way. (Miss Donovan turns and sees something.) That's odd. PHOEBE: What's odd? MISS DONOVAN: That book. It's been moved. (Phoebe goes to pick the book up. Immediately, she has a premonition.) (Quick premonition of: [EARLIER] Kyle and Paige are swept into the book by the magical whirlwind. The book falls to the floor. End of premonition. Resume to present.) (Phoebe stands up, her eyes really, really wide.) PIPER: What? What did you see? PHOEBE: I saw Paige on the best-seller list. She's in this book. They both are. PIPER: Well, what do you mean? Open it up. Get 'em out. PHOEBE: No, I can't. What if it sucks us in there, too? Oh, god. We need Leo. PIPER: Leo? PHOEBE: Look, Piper, I know you need time, but I don't think we have it. At least Leo will be able to sense them and make sure they're okay. PIPER: All right. All right. (Phoebe rushes over to Piper.) PHOEBE: Okay. But we should do this at home in case we need the Book of Shadows to get them out. (to Miss Donovan) Can you watch Wyatt and Chris? MISS DONOVAN: Oh, sure. Of course. But take these. (She hands them the file folders.) Here are the Mullen Brothers school records. It might help. (Piper looks at the file folders, then looks back up at Miss Donovan.) PIPER: The Mullen Brothers. Who are they? CUT TO: [INT. MULLEN BROTHERS DETECTIVE AGENCY - HALLWAY -- DAY - 1930'S AU REALITY] (Paige and Kyle standing outside an office door: MULLEN BROS. DETECTIVE AGENCY PAIGE: They're dicks. KYLE BRODY: (chuckles) Dicks. PAIGE: No, like private eyes. Detectives. Don't you see? They wrote themselves in as the heroes of their own books. Like Sam Spade or Philip Marlowe. (Paige nods at Kyle. He opens the door.) [INT. MULLEN BROTHERS DETECTIVE AGENCY - OUTER OFFICE -- DAY - 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (The door opens. Kyle and Paige step inside the outer office. There are two men there - Johnny the Gent and Eddie Mullen.) PAIGE: Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to interrupt. JOHNNY THE GENT: The newcomers? Eddie, I thought you said you didn't know them. EDDIE MULLEN: Um, I don't. I've never seen 'em before in my life. KYLE BRODY: Wait a minute. You're Eddie? EDDIE MULLEN: You got a problem with that? PAIGE: No, we were just expecting somebody older. JOHNNY THE GENT: You like older, toots? You oughta take a gander my way. KYLE BRODY: Hey, why don't you gander somewhere else, buddy? Who are you? JOHNNY THE GENT: My name's Johnny. Johnny the Gent. I think you made the acquaintance of a few of my boys. KYLE BRODY: Johnny. Right. Yeah, I think they dropped your name in between Tommy gun blasts. JOHNNY THE GENT: (chuckles) Simple misunderstanding. Everyone's on edge on account of the Falcon. PAIGE: The Falcon as in The Maltese Falcon? EDDIE MULLEN: Nah. Everyone knows the Maltese was a fake. This one's the real deal. The Burmese Falcon. KYLE BRODY: Burmese? You can't be serious? That's a total rip-off. JOHNNY THE GENT: Rip-off or no, I figure that's why you're here. You wouldn't happen to know where it is, would you? PAIGE: Maybe we do. But that's between us and Eddie. We have business to discuss. Alone. EDDIE MULLEN: Thanks, I got enough business. PAIGE: No, please. You're the only one who can help us. See, we, uh ... we came from your school. We just can't seem to find our way back. (Eddie gets it. He stares at Paige.) JOHNNY THE GENT: Be polite, Eddie. Hear 'em out. Besides, it might be lucrative. (Johnny heads for the door.) JOHNNY THE GENT: I'll be in touch. EDDIE MULLEN: Of all the books in all the libraries in all the world, you gotta get sucked into this one? (Paige steps forward.) CUT TO: [INT. MULLEN BROTHERS DETECTIVE AGENCY - OFFICE -- DAY - 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (The inner office door opens. Eddie Mullen steps into his office, takes off his hat and tosses it onto the hat stand. It hooks on perfectly. Paige and Kyle follow him inside. Kyle closes the door behind them.) KYLE BRODY: You don't seem too happy to see us. EDDIE MULLEN: Well, should I be? (Eddie takes out a cigarette.) PAIGE: What're you doing? Don't you know those things'll kill you? EDDIE MULLEN: Well, if the smokes don't get me, the bullets will. PAIGE: Just like they got your brother? (Eddie looks at Paige.) KYLE BRODY: Look, what happened, Eddie? Who killed him? EDDIE MULLEN: It was a couple of corrupt cops. They were trying to stop him from getting to the Falcon before they did. PAIGE: The Falcon. What is it with this Falcon? Why does everyone want it so badly? EDDIE MULLEN: 'Cause we wrote 'em that way, that's why. It's their whole motivation. PAIGE: Very impressive. Quite a magical world you boys have concocted here. You must've been very advanced students. EDDIE MULLEN: Dan was the creative one. It was his idea. I was just along for the ride. It was supposed to be fun. KYLE BRODY: So why haven't you left yet? EDDIE MULLEN: I can't. The only way out is to end the story. Can't do that until the Falcon's found. PAIGE: You don't know where it is? EDDIE MULLEN: No. Dan and I laid down the fundamentals, the beginning. The story's got a life of it's own now. KYLE BRODY: So what've you been doing for the last twenty years, sitting on your ass? EDDIE MULLEN: Twenty years? No, Dan just died yesterday. PAIGE: No, not on the outside, he didn't. You guys have created some sort of different time in here, one where no one ages, apparently. EDDIE MULLEN: No. They just get killed. Thanks to me. KYLE BRODY: This is ridiculous, all right? Look, kid-- (The phone rings. Eddie answers it.) EDDIE MULLEN: (to phone) This is Eddie. Hold the line, please. (to Paige and Kyle) Now, would you all mind ... PAIGE: Yeah, no problem. (Paige and Kyle leave the inner office. Eddie returns to the phone call.) EDDIE MULLEN: (to phone) All right, go ahead, Johnny. Nah, they don't know anything about the Falcon, but I think they're gonna be trouble anyways. CUT TO: [INT. MULLEN BROTHERS DETECTIVE AGENCY - OUTER OFFICE -- DAY - 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (Kyle and Paige stand in the outer office.) KYLE BRODY: I'm telling you, he knows more than he's letting on. He's hiding something. PAIGE: Yeah, he's hiding pain. Real pain. I don't think that's supposed to be part of the story. KYLE BRODY: So what if he feels guilty? It doesn't mean he didn't kill his brother. We could be next. PAIGE: Look, I know an innocent, okay. I think the only way for us to get out of this is to figure out how to help him first. KYLE BRODY: I don't know- (Eddie steps out of the office, his jacket and hand in his hands.) EDDIE MULLEN: Good news. That was an anonymous source, gave me a lead on the Falcon. (He pushes his way between Kyle and Paige and heads for the door. He puts his hat on.) KYLE BRODY: Oh, well, that's great. That's great. So, what, you just happen to get this tip just now? EDDIE MULLEN: You guys coming here must have triggered the story to move forward. If we find the Falcon, we can get out. Isn't that what you want? PAIGE: Yeah, of course. Isn't that what you want? EDDIE MULLEN: Yeah, sure. I'll go get my car. (Eddie turns and leaves the office.) KYLE BRODY: I hope you know what you're doing. (Paige gets a strange, distracted look on her face.) KYLE BRODY: What? What is it? PAIGE: Strange. Almost feels as if someone's calling to me. (She looks up at the ceiling.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Leo is holding the Book in his hand.) LEO: Paige is still alive in there. I don't know about Kyle. PHOEBE: Wait. You're calling him Kyle now, too? LEO: That's his name, isn't it? PHOEBE: (sighs) Oh, I knew she should not have gotten him involved in this. This was a bad idea. I'm sure it's his fault. PIPER: Forget about whose fault it is. We need to get them out of there without getting trapped ourselves. LEO: Maybe I can help. (Leo flips the book over intending to open it.) PIPER: (alarmed) What are you doing? LEO: It's all right. I'll be okay. (Leo opens the book. The white cloud appears from the open book pages and tries to suck Leo into the story.) PIPER: Leo! (The book continues to try to suck Leo into the story.) (Behind Piper and Phoebe, Alpha and Beta appear. Their hands are glowing. They lift it up and hold it out toward Leo to help. Their combined powers deactivate the book. Immediately something happens and the white cloud reverses back into the book.) (Alpha and Beta's hands stop glowing. They lower their hands and disappear.) (Sensing something, Piper turns around. She doesn't see anything.) (Leo sighs.) PHOEBE: You must have shorted it out. How did you do that? (Phoebe walks over to Leo to look at the book.) LEO: I guess I'm just a little more focused now. (Piper walks over to Leo's other side and they all look at the book.) PIPER: What is it doing? (The words in the book are magically appearing right before their eyes.) PHOEBE: It looks like it's writing itself as if it were unfolding right now. PAIGE: Is that Paige and Brody? LEO: Who's driving? PHOEBE: Uh, Eddie Mullen, I think. Listen: "Riding in Eddie's car, Lana and The Fed ... " PIPER: "Lana and The Fed"? PHOEBE: Hey, at least he's not calling him "Kyle", know what I mean? PIPER: "Lana and The Fed had no idea they were being driven straight into a trap." LEO: He's setting them up. PHOEBE: Yeah, well, what do you expect? It's called "Crossed, Double- Crossed". (Phoebe takes the book from Leo and puts it on the table. She takes her pen out.) PIPER: What are you doing? PHOEBE: I am trying my hand at being a novelist. See if I can write in a little twist to help Paige out. (Phoebe starts writing.) PHOEBE: Uh, "Then suddenly ... they got a flat tire." (When Phoebe finishes writing the sentence, it immediately becomes a part of the story unfolding.) CUE SOUND: (PRE-LAP) FLAT TIRE [EXT. ROAD -- DAY - 1930'S AU REALITY] (Close-up: Flat Tire.) [INT. CAR (STILL) -- DAY - 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] KYLE BRODY: What the hell was that? EDDIE MULLEN: It's a flat tire, but I don't understand. That's impossible. PAIGE: What? You can't get a flat tire in your book? EDDIE MULLEN: No. It's too cliché. PAIGE: Okay, who put it in there? (Eddie doesn't answer her. He reaches for the door handle to get out of the car.) KYLE BRODY: Whoa, whoa, where you goin'? EDDIE MULLEN: Well, it's just up around the corner. We can get there on foot. KYLE BRODY: Oh, come on. You're lying. PAIGE: Ease up. KYLE BRODY: He's lying. Eddie, I want some answers and I want 'em now. (Police sirens sound. Two cop cars pull up around Eddie's car.) EDDIE MULLEN: Well, I think you got your answer. (Lieutenant Snyder steps out of the car and looks at Eddie who has also stepped out of his car.) LIEUTENANT SNYDER: We were wondering what's taking so long, Eddie. We've been waiting. PAIGE: Eddie, what's going on? (Eddie turns to look at Paige.) EDDIE MULLEN: I'm sorry to do this to you, really, I am but, you see, this story can never end. (Two cops pull out their guns and point it against Kyle and Paige.) [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Phoebe reads from the book.) PHOEBE: (reading) "The couple knew they'd been double-crossed and there was no way out." (Leo and Piper listen.) [INT. CAR (STILL) -- DAY - 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (Eddie turns to leave.) (Camera holds on Kyle and Paige.) CLOSE OUT. (COMMERCIAL SET) FADE IN. [INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- NIGHT] (Phoebe scratches the book with a pen trying to find one that works. She hands the pen back to Piper.) PHOEBE: Nope, this one's not working, either. (Piper hands her another pen.) PIPER: Try this one. LEO: The pens are fine. The book's just not letting you write them out of it. PHOEBE: Yeah, but why not? PIPER: Well, maybe it's against the rules. (Phoebe looks at Piper - explain.) I don't know. The book is writing itself. Well, maybe they have to save themselves. PHOEBE: Then why was I able to write in the flat tire? PIPER: It was just another plot twist, which we could add ... but we can't bail them out. Heroes have to be heroes. I read a lot. PHOEBE: Yes, I know you do. Maybe you should get out a little more. PIPER: Easy, Cupid. LEO: All right, maybe you oughta focus on the book. Maybe there's something in the prose that can help. PHOEBE: "In the prose". Yes, let me check the prose, Leo. (Phoebe flips back through the book.) PHOEBE: Actually, there is something in Chapter Ten. Eddie says the only way out is to find The Falcon. So all we have to do is find The Falcon? PIPER: Yeah, before the book spits out two more corpses. (to Leo) Okay, let's go talk to the parents and see if they know anything about the book. (to Phoebe) You be creative and just keep Paige and Brody alive. (Piper and Leo stand up to leave the attic.) PHOEBE: Oh, okay. Right. No pressure. (Phoebe goes back to the book. The illustration on the left page shows Kyle being interrogated.) DISSOLVE INTO: [INT. POLICE STATION - INTERROGATION ROOM -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY] (Lieutenant Snyder hits Kyle Brody on the neck with a stick. Kyle groans.) LIEUTENANT SNYDER: Tell me all you know about The Falcon. KYLE BRODY: I told you, I don't know anything. LIEUTENANT SNYDER: No? Gee, why don't I believe you? (Lieutenant Snyder hits Kyle.) [INT. POLICE STATION - OFFICE -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (In the other room, Paige hears it. She surges to her feet.) PAIGE: Kyle! (Inspector Davis watches Paige and pushes her back down in her chair.) INSPECTOR DAVIS: You're not goin' anywhere, Sweetheart. Now, unless you want him to end up with a bullet in his ear ... you'll tell us where the Falcon is. Understand? PAIGE: Get your paws off of me. INSPECTOR DAVIS: So tell me, what's a cute, little package like you doing mixed up with that no-good Fed in there? (Paige turns her head.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (In the book, the next line writes itself: "Drop dead, Lana said, ignoring his advances." PHOEBE: (realizing) Femme Fatale. (mutters) Flirt with him, Paige, flirt with him. Come on, sister, don't you know how to play the game? (Phoebe writes in the next line. "Then the dirty cop said ... " CUT TO: [INT. POLICE STATION - OFFICE -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (Back in the police station ... INSPECTOR DAVIS: Come on, Sister. Don't you know how to play the game? PAIGE: (mutters) Sister? INSPECTOR DAVIS: Oh ... you're a little heartbreaker, aren't you? A regular femme fatale. (Paige gets to her feet.) PAIGE: Maybe I am. Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'm just crazy, crazy for cops, tough cops. The kinda cops that'll arrest your heart, make you long for a life sentence with 'em. (Paige tugs the Inspector's tie, pulling him to her.) PAIGE: You know any cops like that? CUT TO: [INT. POLICE STATION - INTERROGATION ROOM -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (Lieutenant Snyder hits Kyle. Kyle falls to the floor.) LIEUTENANT SNYDER: We can keep this up all night if you like, or you can tell me where the Ffalcon is and I'll end it but quick. (The Lieutenant takes out his gun and points it at Kyle.) KYLE BRODY: Is that supposed to be a choice? LIEUTENANT SNYDER: Yeah, either you die fast or you beg for death, but either way, I'm getting the Falcon out of you first. (The door opens and Paige steps into the room holding a gun.) PAIGE: Kyle! (Kyle takes his chance. He trips Lieutenant Snyder and knocks the gun out of his hand. The gun skids on the floor. Kyle picks it up. He walks over to Paige. Paige drops her gun on the floor.) PAIGE: You all right? KYLE BRODY: I'll live. How'd you get in here? PAIGE: Well, I seduced a cop, grabbed his gun, and knocked him out, all thanks to Phoebe. KYLE BRODY: Phoebe? PAIGE: Getting a little magical help from my sisters. That's the whole flat tire thing. They were warning us about the trap. Doesn't matter. You're right, Eddie's not an innocent. KYLE BRODY: Actually, I think that you were right. I think that he is. Come on, I'll explain on the way. We gotta find him. (Kyle opens the door and they leave the room.) CUT TO: [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL -- NIGHT] (Mrs. Mullen meets with Piper and Leo.) PIPER: Mrs. Mullen, if this is too difficult ... MRS. MULLEN: No, no, no. I'm all right. I wanted to meet here. I miss coming here. So you said something about another shooting? LEO: Yes. MRS. MULLEN: Well, you don't think Eddie ... PIPER: No, of course not. MRS. MULLEN: Good, because he didn't kill his brother, either, no matter what anybody says. He'd never do that. He loved Danny. PIPER: And you haven't heard from Eddie in ... MRS. MULLEN: In over twenty years. No. But believe it or not, his father and I still have hopes that, uhm, someday, somehow, he'll come back to us. Sometimes, it's the only thing that keeps us from falling apart. (chuckles sadly) Crazy, huh? Do you have any children? LEO: Yeah, we have two boys, too. MRS. MULLEN: Oh. Well, you treasure every moment together, hmm? PIPER: Um, we were just wondering did the boys ever mention writing a book together? MRS. MULLEN: What does that have to do with anything? PIPER: Uh, we're not sure yet. Do you know anything about the book? MRS. MULLEN: Well, not much. They never let us see anything. (She chuckles.) But I know it was Dan's idea. Yeah, I -- I know. He wanted to help Eddie with it. LEO: Help him how? MRS. MULLEN: To believe in himself, to feel ... confident. PIPER: To be a hero? MRS. MULLEN: Yes, probably. PIPER: (to Leo) Then he has to finish the story, which means we need to help Paige help him. (Leo nods.) CUT TO: [EXT. STREET -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (Paige and Kyle step out of the police station and into an alley.) PAIGE: This is ridiculous. I don't know why we're going to get Eddie. He's beyond hope. KYLE BRODY: But didn't you hear him apologize when he turned us in? Criminals don't say they're sorry. PAIGE: Yeah, and innocents don't try to get you killed. (Paige turns to leave. Kyle grabs her arm and stops her.) KYLE BRODY: Hey! Paige, I know that kid. I was that kid. Look, after my parents died, I fell in with the wrong crowd, too. I was scared, lost. I thought I was to blame for what happened. PAIGE: I felt that way, too, but I didn't try to hurt anybody. KYLE BRODY: I did. Relatives, social workers, cops. I'd do anything to push them away all because I didn't think that I was worthy of being helped. Maybe Eddie feels the same way. PAIGE: Maybe, but I think he crossed the line. KYLE BRODY: Not necessarily. See, I think Johnny the Gent got him to set us up. He's playing Eddie, but what Eddie doesn't know is that Johnny is the one that killed his brother. PAIGE: I thought the cops killed him. KYLE BRODY: No. It's classic noir. That's just a red herring. If the cops did it, they would have beaten Eddie until he told them where the Falcon was, but they're still looking for it. PAIGE: So the gangsters killed Dan? KYLE BRODY: Who else would it be? PAIGE: Then maybe we need to end the story by collaring the gangsters. All right, let's go. They're back this way. KYLE BRODY: Well, hold on, what about Eddie? CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - NIGHT] (Piper, Phoebe and Leo discuss the book.) PIPER: Eddie's the hero of the story, so he must know where the Falcon is. LEO: But he blames himself for what happened to his brother. Paige has to get him to see it's not his fault ... PIPER: So he has the confidence to finish the story. (Phoebe smiles dreamily at them.) PHOEBE: (gushing) You guys are a great team. PIPER: Match-make later, save sister now. You need to get Paige to Eddie. PHOEBE: I can't. She's going after the gangsters. LEO: What? She's going to get herself killed. PHOEBE: Well, Kyle is trying to stop her, but she won't listen to him. Wait, when did I take his side? PIPER: Probably around the time you started calling him "Kyle." LEO: Try and block her path. (Phoebe sighs as she picks up the pen and turns to the book.) [EXT. STREET -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (A large upright piano falls from the skies and into the alley right in front of Kyle and Paige blocking their path.) KYLE BRODY: You were saying? (Paige looks up at the sky.) PAIGE: Thanks, guys. Could you be any less subtle? KYLE BRODY: Looks like your sisters agree with me. PAIGE: Don't gloat. (sighs) Let's go get Eddie. (Paige and Kyle heads out of the alleyway.) [INT. MULLEN BROTHER'S DETECTIVE AGENCY - OFFICE -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (The door opens. Paige and Kyle walk into the office.) PAIGE: Eddie ... JOHNNY THE GENT: Sorry to disappoint you. (Johnny the Gent sits behind Eddie's desk. Kyle reaches for his gun too late.) JOHNNY THE GENT: Drop it. (Kyle drops the gun.) KYLE BRODY: Where's Eddie? JOHNNY THE GENT: I sent him out to look for the two of you. I heard you got away from the cops. Too bad you're not gonna get away from me. (Johnny shoots Kyle in the chest.) PAIGE: Kyle! (Kyle falls to the floor. Johnny gets up in his seat.) JOHNNY THE GENT: Forget about him, Sweetheart. His number's up. (Johnny smirks as Paige glares at him.) CLOSE OUT. (COMMERCIAL SET) FADE IN. [INT. MULLEN BROTHER'S DETECTIVE AGENCY - OFFICE -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (Johnny the Gent walks around the desk.) PAIGE: Please, we just want to get out of here, that's all, I swear. (Paige glances up at the ceiling.) Help? JOHNNY THE GENT: Well, I'm sorry, but, uh, but if I want to get the Falcon out of Eddie, I can't leave any loose ends hangin' about. (Paige glances down at Kyle bleeding on the floor.) JOHNNY THE GENT: Now listen, in a couple of minutes, it's gonna be over for your friend over there, but you, you're a knockout. (He holds up his gun.) Please, don't make me waste a bullet on you. (The door opens and Eddie Mullen walks into the office. He glances around and notes Kyle shot on the ground.) EDDIE MULLEN: What's going on here? JOHNNY THE GENT: Eddie, I didn't expect you so soon. They, uh, they came looking to get even, for you settin' 'em up. PAIGE: That's not true. He killed my friend in cold blood, just like he killed your brother. EDDIE MULLEN: Wha ... what are you talking about? JOHNNY THE GENT: Don't listen to her, Eddie. You know the cops killed your brother. You know that. PAIGE: That's not true. You didn't see it, did you, Eddie? It's just a story that Johnny's been telling you. Don't ya see? He's been playing you. He tried to force Dan into giving him the Falcon, but he wouldn't give it up, so now he's trying to charm you out of it. JOHNNY THE GENT: That's it. (He cocks the gun.) JOHNNY THE GENT: Say good night, Gracie. (He squeezes the trigger; the gun misfires. Paige gasps.) JOHNNY THE GENT: What the hell? PAIGE: (mutters) Thank you. (She looks up.) I could use a flashback right now. PAGE TURN TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Phoebe can't believe it.) PHOEBE: Flashback. She wants a flashback. LEO: Why? PHOEBE: To prove Johnny killed Eddie's brother. PIPER: But we don't know that and we can't make it up. The book won't let us. PHOEBE: It will if it's true. (Phoebe starts writing.) PHOEBE: "Then Eddie found out how Dan really died. It was as if it was happening all over again." (The words magically write itself onto the page.) PAGE TURN TO: [INT. MULLEN BROTHER'S DETECTIVE AGENCY - OFFICE -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY (FLASHBACK) -- CONTINUOUS] (Paige turns around to look at Eddie. Eddie turns around to look behind him where he finally sees, in flashback, what really happened that fateful night Dan died.) [EXT. ALLEYWAY - NIGHT - FLASHBACK] (Johnny has Dan up against a wall.) FLASHBACK JOHNNY THE GENT: I know you found the Falcon, Danny. JOHNNY THE GENT: What the hell? FLASHBACK JOHNNY THE GENT: Now you better tell me where it is if you know what's good for you. FLASHBACK DAN MULLEN: No. You can't kill me. I made you. (Flashback Johnny the Gent punches Flashback Dan in the stomach. He falls to the ground.) FLASHBACK: JOHNNY THE GENT: Never mind. I'll get it from your brother one way or the other. (Flashback Johnny the Gent shoots Flashback Dan a couple of times. Dead.) FLASHBACK JOHNNY THE GENT: Sucker. END OF FLASHBACK RESUME TO STORY. [INT. MULLEN BROTHER'S DETECTIVE AGENCY - OFFICE -- NIGHT- 1930'S AU REALITY -- CONTINUOUS] (Eddie turns to look at Johnny the Gent.) JOHNNY THE GENT: (nervously) You're not gonna believe that, are ya, kid? Some kind of smoke and mirrors trick. I-I-it's a picture show. KYLE BRODY: (o.s. rasps) Paige ... (Paige turns and looks down at Kyle. He coughs.) KYLE BRODY: Save your innocent ... (Paige turns to look at Eddie Mullen.) PAIGE: Eddie, you have to stop punishing yourself. This is not your fault. Your brother would not want you to live this way as if you were in some kind of prison. He would have wanted you to grow up, to live your life, to become part of the real world. (In the background, we hear the sounds of the approaching sirens. Johnny the Gent glances nervously behind him out the window.) JOHNNY THE GENT: Cops. Okay, that's it. (Johnny the Gent puts the useless gun on the desk. He grabs Paige.) JOHNNY THE GENT: You give me the Falcon now or I will break her neck. PAIGE: Don't. It's your only way out. I'll do it! EDDIE MULLEN: All right. All right, don't hurt her. I'll give it to you. JOHNNY THE GENT: This better not be a trick, kid. EDDIE MULLEN: It's not. I should have done this a long time ago. (Eddie walks past them and heads over to the wall. He removes the picture frame to reveal a safe with a combination lock behind it. He unlocks the safe and opens it. He removes the Burmese Falcon.) JOHNNY THE GENT: Where did you find it? (Outside, we hear the cop sirens stop just outside the building and we hear the car doors opening and closing.) EDDIE MULLEN: Doesn't matter. All that matters is that no one else dies because of it. Let her go. JOHNNY THE GENT: Give it to me. I gotta go. PAIGE: You can't. This isn't the way the story is supposed to end. EDDIE MULLEN: Trust me. It is. JOHNNY THE GENT: Give it to me. (Eddie raises the Falcon high above his head.) JOHNNY THE GENT: No, no, no, no, no! (He smashes the Falcon down on the floor. A blinding white light appears and a whirlwind engulfs the entire room.) LARGE WHITE FLASH TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Phoebe looks down at the book. Suddenly it starts to glow. Phoebe gets up.) PHOEBE: Wow! Wow! Okay, we did it. We did it. (A whirlwind cloud rises out of the book and settles down on the attic floor. Eddie, Paige and Kyle are transported back into the attic.) PHOEBE: (smiling) We did it. (Paige motions to Leo.) PAIGE: Leo! LEO: I got him. (Leo goes over to Kyle and heals him. Kyle comes to. He looks around and sees Paige.) KYLE BRODY: Hey. You're in color. PAIGE: (nods) We all are. So we having fun yet? (Kyle chuckles.) EDDIE MULLEN: Hey, where are we? PIPER: The story's over. You're a hero. Your brother would be very proud of you. EDDIE MULLEN: Well, what do I do now? PIPER: You go home. Your parents will be thrilled to see you. They never gave up on you. LEO: Or each other. (Leo looks at Piper.) PHOEBE: Don't forget this. (Phoebe looks at the book. Magically, the by line on the cover alters as the following is added: and THE HALLIWELL SISTERS.) (Phoebe picks up the book and looks at it.) PHOEBE: Hey, look, we're novelists. (She hands it to Eddie.) EDDIE MULLEN: Nah, you know what? You keep it. Now that it's finished no one else will get sucked inside it. (Phoebe keeps the book and steps back.) PAIGE: I actually think it belongs in the library of Magic School. (Eddie nods.) PIPER: (to Leo) Speaking of magic school, after you drop off Eddie, why don't you pick up the kids and we can have a late dinner, talk? LEO: (smiles) I'd like that. (Leo walks over to Eddie. Phoebe nudges Piper with her elbow.) PIPER: (to Phoebe) Shh, shh. (Eddie looks at them.) EDDIE MULLEN: I guess this is it, then. Thank you. KYLE BRODY: Stay out of trouble, man, will you? PAIGE: (waves) Bye. (Leo orbs Eddie out of the attic.) (Kyle takes a step away.) PAIGE: You hungry? (Kyle steps closer to Paige.) KYLE BRODY: Starving. PAIGE: I think we should go, then. (Paige and Kyle leave the attic.) PIPER: All right, then you all go. See ya later. PHOEBE: "Lana and The Fed?" PIPER: Sounds like a thriller to me. PHOEBE: More like a romance novel, whether we like it or not. PIPER: mm-hmm. (Phoebe tosses the book onto the table. Camera holds on the book cover.) DISSOLVE TO: [INT. BRODY'S APARTMENT - LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT] (Kyle and Paige look at each other.) KYLE BRODY: Remember our deal, right? PAIGE: I remember there being talk of a deal. KYLE BRODY: So I suppose that you'll find time to help me with the Avatars? PAIGE: I suppose you'll want to look at the books at Magic School. KYLE BRODY: Suppose I'm not thinking about those books right now? PAIGE: Suppose I'm hoping you're not thinking of those books? KYLE BRODY: I wonder if I know what you mean. PAIGE: I wonder if I ... Oh, shut up and kiss me. (They kiss.) (Camera moves up to the ceiling.) (The scene turns to black and white. White script letters appear on the screen.) THE END FADE TO BLACK ========================== THE END ========================== [Captioning made possible by Spelling Entertainment, Inc. Captioned by the National Captioning Institute www.Ncicap.Org] Courtesy of http://www.webphilia.com/~anthology/wnp.html Contact the Transcriptionist at (intrepidly002@yahoo.com) Do not archive this transcript without permission from the Transcriptionist. ========================== TITLE/OPENING CREDITS ========================== CHARMED 7X08: CHARMED NOIR ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON WB: 11/14/2004 TRANSCRIBED FROM WB Starring: ALYSSA MILANO as Phoebe Halliwell ROSE McGOWAN as Paige Matthews and HOLLY MARIE COMBS as Piper BRIAN KRAUSE as Leo Wyatt Created by CONSTANCE M. BURGE Guest Starring BUG HALL as Eddie Mullen JOEL SWETOW as Alpha (Avatar) PATRICE FISHER as Beta (Avatar) AL SAPIENZA as Johnny the Gent ANN CUSACK as Miss Donovan MICHAEL LEE GOGIN as Mr. Monkeyshines BEVERLY SANDERS as Mrs. Mullen CHRIS DIAMANTOPOULOS as Inspector Davis SAL LANDI as Lt. Snyder RICK PASQUALONE as Lips and KERR SMITH as Agent Kyle Brody Consulting Producer: JONATHAN LEVIN Co-Producer: DEBRA J. FISHER Co-Producer: ERICA MESSER Co-Producer: JEANNINE RENSHAW Producer: ROB WRIGHT Producer: HENRY ALONSO MYERS Producer: CURTIS KHEEL Producer: PETER CHOMSKY Producer: HOLLY MARIE COMBS Producer: ALYSSA MILANO Supervising Producer: MARK WILDING Co-Executive Producer: JAMES L. CONWAY Produced By: JON PARE Written by: CURTIS KHEEL Directed by: MICHAEL GROSSMAN ========================== END CREDITS ========================== Executive Producer: BRAD KERN Executive Producer: AARON SPELLING Executive Producer: E. DUKE VINCENT Spelling Television Inc., A Paramount / Viacom Company Story Editor: CAMERON LITVACK Co Starring: DENNIS FLANAGAN as Flashback Dan Music By: J. PETER ROBINSON Casting by: LESLEE DENNIS, C.S.A. Original Casting by VICTORIA HUFF, C.S.A. Director of Photography: JONATHAN WEST, ASC Production Designer: PAUL STAHELL Editor: DON KELLY Unit Production Manager: JON PARE First Assistant Director: TOMAZ REMEC Second Assistant Director: VINCENT GONZALES Executive in Charge of Talent: PAMELA SHAE Costume Designer: EILISH Camera Operator: KRIS KROSSKOVE 1st Assistant Camera: RICHARD SOBIN Chief Lighting Technician: KURT JOHNSON Asst. Chief Lighting Technician: DON LEHMAN Set Designer: ROLAND HILL Set Decorator: ROBINSON ROYCE, S.D.S.A. Leadperson: MICHAEL ZUFELT Property Master: ROGER MONTESANO Assistant Property Master: SCOTT COCKEREIL Script Supervisor: NANCY SOLOMAN Costume Supervisor: DANIELA GSCHWENDTNER Dept. Head Key Make-Up Artist: NANETTE NEW Key Make-up artist: ANI MALONEY Key Make-Up Artist: BRET MARDOCK Dept. Head Key Hairstylist: AUDREY FUTTERMAN-STERN Key Hairstylist: LANA HEYING Sound Mixer: BRETT GRANT-GRIERSON Location Manager: BOB BOYLE Transportation Coordinator: MARTIN COBLENZ Production Coordinator: RICK NAPOLI Post-Production Coordinator: LARRY GOLDSTEIN Production Accountant: SUSAN SLATTERY First Company Grip: STEVE GAUSCHE 2nd Company Grip: TOM HAM Construction Coordinator: STAR FIELDS Stunt Coordinator: NOON ORSATTI Special Effects Coordinator: RANDY CABRAL Special Effects Shop Coordinator: VINNIE BORGESE Visual Effects Supervisor: STEPHEN LEBED Executive Associate: RENATE KAMER Casting Associate: KIMBERLY LENAE FOSTER Assistant to Brad Kern: DOUG E. JONES Assistant to Jon Pare: ANDREA CONWAY Assistant to the Writers: NATALIE ANTOCI Technical Advisor: JOHN RICHARD TODD Assistant Editor: EUGENE WOOD Music Editor: NINO CENTURION Supervising Sound Editor: JEFF CLARK Music Coordinator: CELEST RAY Re-Recording Mixers: JOSH SCHNEIDER / BRUCE MICHAELS / KEVIN VALENTINE Film and Electronic Laboratory (tm) by LASERPACIFIC MEDIA Lenses and Panaflex(R) Camera by PANAVISION(R) Digital Sound Editing and Mixing by LASERPACIFIC MEDIA Digital Visual Effects by ENCORE VIDEO Executive in Charge of Production: GAIL M. PATTERSON Executive in Charge of Post-Production: KENNETH MILLER This motion picture is protected under the laws of the United States and other countries. Any unauthorized duplication, copying, distribution, exhibition or use may result in civil liability and or criminal prosecution. The places and characters depicted herein are entirely fictitious, and any similarity to any real places or people is purely coincidental. (c) 2004 by Spelling Television Inc., A Paramount / Viacom company. All rights reserved. Country of First Publication: United States of America Spelling Television Inc., is the author of this film / motion picture for the purpose of Article 15(2) of the Berne Convention and all National Laws giving effect thereto. TheWB.com Dated:11/22/2004lky http://www.webphilia.com/~anthology/wnp.html