CHARMED 7X03: CHEAPER BY THE COVEN ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON WB: 09/26/2004 TRANSCRIBED FROM WB Written by MARK WILDING Directed by DEREK JOHANSEN Transcript by Intrepid Courtesy of http://www.webphilia.com/~anthology/wnp.html Do not archive this transcript without permission from the Transcriptionist. RATING: TV-PG-V ========================== DISCLAIMER: ========================== "CHARMED", "The Charmed Ones" and other related entities are owned, (TM) and (c) by CONSTANCE M. BURGE, AARON SPELLING Television Inc (A Paramount / Viacom Co.) and WB (AOL Time Warner Company). All Rights Reserved. This transcript was made without their permission, approval, authorization or endorsement. For Fair Use, for Entertainment and for Educational Purposes Only. Any reproduction, duplication or distribution of this material in any form is expressly prohibited. It is absolutely forbidden to use it for commercial gain. CONDITIONS OF USE: (1) Do not alter the content of this file. (2) Leave the headers/disclaimers intact because it lists all those who have made this transcript possible for your enjoyment. (3) Provide a link back to the site where this file originated: http://www.webphilia.com/~anthology/wnp.html Contact the Transcriptionist at (intrepidly002@yahoo.com) ========================== SUMMARY: While trying to convince Piper to allow Baby Chris a wiccaning, Phoebe and Paige summon Grams' spirit. An unknown masked demon is after Wyatt, "Ask Phoebe" has won a Readers' Choice Award, and Leo continues to deal with his fear for protecting his family. While dealing with Wyatt's growing jealousy over the attention Baby Chris is getting, Grams casts a sibling rivalry spell which accidentally transforms the girls' behavior back to when they were teenagers. Grams and Victor bring Patty back to help 'parent' their children. ========================== CHARMED 7X03: CHEAPER BY THE COVEN ========================== FADE IN: [TRIQUETRA] [Scene from 6X22: It's a Bad, Bad, Bad, Bad World (2)] [INT. UNDERWORLD - CAVERN] (Streams of electricity shoot from Leo's hands at Gideon who is held up mid-air by the force of the attack. Leo stops and Gideon falls to the ground with a thud.) HOLLY MARIE COMBS (NARRATOR): (v.o.) Previously on Charmed ... [Scene from 7X01: A Call to Arms] [INT. MANOR - KITCHEN - MORNING] (Piper talks with Paige.) PIPER: Gideon's gone, Chris and Wyatt are safe. It all worked out. [Scene from 7X02: The Bare Witch Project] [INT. MANOR - FOYER - DAY] (Leslie talks with Phoebe.) LES ST. CLAIRE: I recognize your handwriting, Phoebe. I've studied all your work. PHOEBE: You have? LES ST. CLAIRE: Well, yeah. How else am I gonna get away with ghost-writing a column for you? [Scene from 7X01: A Call to Arms] [INT. THE BAY MIRROR - PHOEBE'S OFFICE - DAY] (Phoebe and Les St. Claire kiss.) [Scene from 7X01: A Call to Arms] [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL] (Leo sits on the floor.) LEO: (confesses) I killed another Elder. (Cut to: Piper holds Leo.) PIPER: (whispers) Nobody else has to know. [Scene from 7X02: The Bare Witch Project] [INT. UNDERWORLD - HEALER'S CAVE] (Piper talks with Leo.) PIPER: The fact is, the boys need a father, and that's really all that matters, and I can't understand why you're focusing on all this bad stuff when you have some good stuff in your life. [Scene from 7X01: A Call to Arms] [INT. MANOR - KITCHEN - MORNING] (Paige pours herself a cup of coffee as she talks with Piper.) PAIGE: The whole magic school thing -- I don't know why the Elders are just shutting it down. [Scene from 7X02: The Bare Witch Project] [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL - DAY] (Odin talks with Paige.) ODIN: We won't shut it down. PAIGE: What? ODIN: As long as you can prove that you can keep running it. (Paige double-takes.) PAIGE: Me? FADE OUT END OF PREVIOUSLY ON FADE IN. [EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - DAY] PAIGE: (v.o.) I have things to do, too, you know. [INT. MANOR - MAIN HALL -- DAY] (Phoebe walks out through the dining room to the main hall. Paige follows her. In the center of the carpet, they have a circle of candles. Wyatt stands near the base of the steps. Baby Chris is in the bassinet nearby.) PAIGE: I have all these parents on my back right now. Oh, and my freshman potions class? (Paige starts to light the candles.) PAIGE: Let's see, I ordered five hundred dried toads. What did I get? Hmm, five hundred wet ones. PHOEBE: Look, Paige, it's just really hard for me to get on board with this when Piper, the actual mother, is totally against doing a wiccaning. PAIGE: That's what Grams is here for, to convince her. Look at Wyatt. (They both look at Wyatt.) He didn't have one until he was six months old, and he almost turned evil. Now, look at that little sweet face. (They both look at Chris.) You want a repeat of that? PHOEBE: No, of course I don't. (Paige starts to cast the summoning spell.) PAIGE: Hear me now. Hear my cry. Spirit from the other side, cross now the great divide. (White orb lights appear and swirl in the candle-lit circle in front of them. Phoebe smiles in anticipation of seeing Grams again.) (As the lights swirl, we can hear Grams talking.) GRAMS: (audio fades in) You mean she is still lying about her age? (Grams chuckles. Her ghostly form appears in the candle-lit circle, her back to the girls. Obviously, she appears to be talking with someone we can't see.) (She stops laughing as she realizes that something's happened to her. She turns around, confused by where she is.) GRAMS: Huh? Um ... what? (She sees Phoebe and Paige standing in front of her.) GRAMS: Not a good time, girls. I'm busy. PAIGE: You're dead. GRAMS: Well, it doesn't mean I can't have a life. (shrugs) Oh, well. All right. (Smiling, Grams steps out of the circle and, in her corporeal form, gives Phoebe a hug.) PHOEBE: (smiles warmly) Hi. GRAMS: Hello, darlings. (She hugs Paige.) Aw, sweetie. (She chuckles and steps back to look at them.) Oh, so, what brings me down here? PAIGE: A wiccaning for your great grandson. PHOEBE: Providing Piper doesn't kill us first. GRAMS: (confused) A wiccaning? Uh, I thought we already did that. PAIGE: Not for Baby Chris. (Paige points over to the bassinet behind Grams. Chris gurgles. Grams turns around, now very confused.) GRAMS: Um ... help me out here. Last time I knew, he was a six-foot whitelighter. PHOEBE: Yeah, that was Chris from the future. This is Baby Chris now. (Grams walks over to the bassinet and picks Baby Chris up as Phoebe continues to explain.) Piper and Leo had this night -- do you really need us to explain this to you, or can you just be happy to see him? (Grams hugs, snuggles and coos over Baby Chris. She's clearly thrilled to see him.) GRAMS: Oh, good gracious. Wyatt has a little baby brother. (Wyatt watches Grams and Baby Chris from the side ignored by the adults.) Oh, you're so sweet. So, when does Piper want to do this? PHOEBE: Well, technically ... ? Never. GRAMS: Nonsense. You can't deny this child his ancestral blessings. It's a witch's compass for good. I mean, who knows what terrible evils could befall him otherwise. PAIGE: See, now that's the kind of stuff that Piper needs to hear. (The pacifier Baby Chris is sucking on orbs out of his mouth ... and into Wyatt's hands. Baby Chris starts fussing.) GRAMS: (firmly) Wyatt, don't pick on your little brother like that. Now give it back. (The pacifier orbs out of Wyatt's hands and re-appears in Baby Chris' mouth.) (Sad, Wyatt orbs out of the room.) (Grams turns to the girls.) GRAMS: What was that all about? PAIGE: He's fine. He probably just orbed himself up to his room. PHOEBE: He's having a hard time right now. His dad's never around. His little brother's getting all the attention. He's constantly being chased by the underworld, you know? GRAMS: Well, I'm afraid he's just gonna have to get used to it. PHOEBE: He's two. GRAMS: Right. (Grams hands Baby Chris to Phoebe.) Well, here. Okay. I'll go up and apologize. (Grams heads upstairs.) PHOEBE: (mutters to Paige) Still think this was a good idea? (Paige sticks her tongue out at Phoebe, turns her head and looks away.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - SECOND FLOOR NURSERY - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Grams walks into the nursery. She gasps.) (In front of her standing over Wyatt's toddler bed is a demon in a black cloak wearing a blue mask over his face. The demon turns and looks at Grams.) GRAMS: (shouts) Girls! (Wyatt's force shield is up surround him as he sits up in bed crying. The masked demon turns and shoots a stream of electricity at Grams.) (The electricity hits Grams and she flies backward back out into the hallway floor. Wyatt cries loudly. Paige runs into the nursery. Phoebe kneels down next to Grams.) (Paige walks into the room and looks around for something to use as a weapon.) (She holds her hand up.) PAIGE: Shelf! (The large toy shelf on the side of the room orbs out. At the sound, the masked demon turns his attention away from Wyatt toward Paige. Paige motions with her hand and the orb-ing shelf is thrown toward the masked demon.) (The masked demon gasps and vanishes out of the nursery. The toy shelf crashes into the fall wall as it passes through nothing.) (Wyatt cries. His force shield vanishes.) (Paige turns around and looks back in the hallway at Grams and Phoebe.) GRAMS: Looks like I didn't get here a minute too soon. (Grams and Phoebe look at each other. Paige shrugs and exhales.) FADE TO END OF TEASER ROLL TITLE CREDITS (COMMERCIAL SET) FADE IN. [INT. P-3 - DAY] (Piper is behind the bar on the phone. The P-3 employee goes about his work.) PIPER: (to phone) Oh, no, that's ok, Jerry. Just, you know, get here whenever you can. Ok? Thanks. Bye. REX: You ok, Piper? PIPER: Yeah. Why? REX: Well, a beer shipment delayed so close to the weekend ... just figured there'd be more fireworks. PIPER: Oh, no. It's no big deal. We'll just charge more for the ginger ale. (Off his expression, she smiles.) I'm kidding. REX: See, there you go again. I don't know what, but something's going on. PIPER: No. You know how people just leave things up to a higher power? Well, I'm trying to live my life without any powers. Makes for a lot less stress. PHOEBE: (o.s.) Piper! (We hear and see Phoebe walk down the stairs into the bar.) PIPER: Until now. (Rex turns and leaves. Phoebe walks up to the bar and stops in front of Piper.) PHOEBE: (smiles) What's that face for? A sister can't come by without there being something wrong? PIPER: What's up? PHOEBE: Nothing. Nothing's up. You know, why would you think anything was up? I just came by to tell my sister that I finally won a Reader's Choice Award. PIPER: Congratulations. PHOEBE: Thanks. (They look at each other. Piper waits for the rest of it.) Yeah, and maybe there's one more thing, you know. Something happened today after we summoned Grams. (That's it.) PIPER: (shouts) What? What? Why did you summon Grams? PHOEBE: For Chris' wiccaning. It was Paige's idea, not mine. Don't blame me. PIPER: What did I say? I don't want any magic. Look, I know my kids can't have a completely normal life, but I've got to give it a shot. PHOEBE: Yes, absolutely, and I think we should start tomorrow, because, uh, a demon attacked Wyatt. PIPER: (angry) And you wait till now to tell me?! (Piper turns and leaves the bar walking out of camera frame.) PHOEBE: Well, I didn't want to worry you. And he's okay, Piper. (Phoebe walks after her.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - FOYER / MAIN HALL / DINING ROOM - DAY] (The front door opens and an angry Piper walks into the room.) PIPER: Leo! (Piper closes the door behind her. Grams walks up to her. Piper puts her bag and keys down on the hallway table.) GRAMS: Oh, hi, sweetie. How are you? (Piper heads into the house.) PIPER: Don't you "sweetie" me. Where are the boys? GRAMS: Oh, they're both perfectly fine. Paige took them to magic school. PIPER: (angry) Leo, now! (Without stopping, Piper heads up stairs.) GRAMS: Uh ... (Grams trails after her.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - SECOND FLOOR HALLWAY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Piper turns the corner and walks into the hallway.) PIPER: (softly) Leo? GRAMS: Honey, are you sure you want him down here? I mean, considering that he can't even tell good from evil anymore. Well, you know, lost soul and all. (Piper stares at Grams. For someone dead, she sure knows a lot.) GRAMS: (sheepishly) Oh, uh, Paige filled me in. PIPER: Ok, first of all, our children's safety is Leo's number one priority. No matter how "lost" he may be. (louder) Leo! (Leo orbs into the room.) LEO: What's the matter? What happened? PIPER: A demon attacked Wyatt. He's okay. He's at the school ... LEO: (interrupts) What kind of demon was it? GRAMS: No idea. It had some sort of creepy mask. Oh, and it struck me down with a lightning bolt. PIPER: I can't believe this is happening. I can't do this again. LEO: Don't worry. I'm gonna go back down there. I'm gonna find out who it was. GRAMS: Down there? As in the underworld? Hang out there a lot, do you? LEO: Best place to vanquish demons, isn't it? (Leo orbs out.) GRAMS: Listen, Piper. Uh, far be it from me to meddle. PIPER: Then don't. Because you're already pressing your luck being here in the first place. Yeah, I know about the wiccaning. (Piper heads up the attic stairs.) (Grams follows.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Piper walks into the attic. Grams is right on her heels.) GRAMS: I don't know why you're being so stubborn about it. I mean, what better way to ward off demon attacks? (Piper opens the Book of Shadows and starts leafing through the pages.) PIPER: The demon went after Wyatt, not his brother. GRAMS: Well, all the more reason to protect Chris. PIPER: Except for the fact that Wyatt's wiccaning didn't really protect him, now, did it? Aside from the fact that it almost destroyed you, or do you not remember your friend the Necromancer? I just need to find out who the hell is after my son. CUT TO: [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - PAIGE'S OFFICE - DAY] (Paige sits behind her desk working on the stack of papers on it. She looks up and checks on Wyatt standing next to the bassinet with Baby Chris inside. The blanket tucked around Baby Chris is orbed out and orbs into Wyatt's hand.) PAIGE: I saw that, Wyatt. You give that back to your little brother while I find out who's trying to kill you. (Ben, the grad student, stands in the back of the office near the book shelves.) BEN: Well, whoever it is can't get to him here. These guys are protected. PAIGE: Yes, Wyatt is, but his little brother is not so protected from him. BEN: It's gotta be tough for him. He's a new kid on the block. Suddenly he's yesterday's news now. I mean ... PAIGE: Spoken like a true older brother. (Ben chuckles.) (Papers rustle. Paige's eyes widen as she watches as a huge stack of papers magically appear out from the ceiling and shuffle down into her inbox.) (She grabs the topmost folder off the stack and looks through it.) PIPER: Student Progress Reports? But the year hasn't gone on long enough for there to be any progress. (Ben walks over to Paige, an open book in his hands.) BEN: Afraid I can't help you with that, Miss Matthews, but I did find something on masked demons. PAIGE: "Paige", please. What do you got? (He shows her the book.) BEN: A couple of possibilities. Could be an Aztec Demon, Chinese false face demon. Any of those look familiar? PAIGE: No, Ben, I'm sorry, they don't. When I took this job I had no idea just how much work it would be. (Ben looks over and sees Baby Chris orb out of the bassinet. Paige continues without a second thought.) PAIGE: (continues) Who knows what I'm letting slip through the cracks? BEN: I think I just found the first thing. PAIGE: What? BEN: Your nephew. (Paige looks up and sees the empty bassinet.) PAIGE: Wyatt, where did you orb your little brother? CUE SOUND: (PRELAP) Doorbell rings. CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - MAIN HALL - DAY -- CONTINUOUS] (Piper is on the phone with Paige as she walks across the sitting room to answer the ringing doorbell.) PIPER: (to phone) No, Paige, he's not here. Where the hell is he? (Piper opens the door and finds Victor Bennett on the front porch carrying Baby Chris in his arms.) VICTOR BENNETT: Oh, I hope this is yours, 'cause it sure isn't mine. PIPER: (to phone) Thank god. I got him. (Piper hangs up the phone. She puts the phone down and reaches for Chris.) PIPER: (to Chris) Hi there, you. (to Victor) And you. VICTOR BENNET: Hi. (He kisses Piper's cheek.) I stepped up on the porch and all of a sudden the little guy just flies into my arms. (Piper turns and heads into the house. Victor follows her inside and closes the door behind him.) PIPER: Yeah. His brother orbed him from magic school. VICTOR BENNETT: Oh. Is that normal? PIPER: It has been lately. (They turn the corner and enter the ... [INT. MANOR - SITTING ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS] ( ... where Grams sits in the chair next to the bassinet. The Book of Shadows is open in her lap. Piper puts Baby Chris down into the bassinet.) GRAMS: Victor. What are you doing here? VICTOR BENNETT: And a big hello to you, too, Penny. I was invited for a wiccaning. GRAMS: Oh. Sorry. Wiccanings are only for magical family members. VICTOR BENNETT: That's not what Paige says. GRAMS: Well, Paige doesn't know all the rules. PIPER: Ok, I can see this is gonna go really well, but it really doesn't matter who was invited because there isn't going to be a wiccaning. Paige seems to think that if she crams enough family members down my throat that I'm gonna give in, but it's not gonna work, because nothing is working. There is some creepy- ass demon after my son, and now Wyatt wants to orb his brother all over creation for god only knows what reason. VICTOR BENNETT: Well, isn't that just boys being boys? I mean, there's always gonna be some sibling rivalry. PIPER: No, actually, it's not. This is not them fighting over toys. They nearly kill each other in the future. GRAMS: You know, there's an easy way to nip this thing in the bud. PIPER: And what would that be, exactly? (Grams smiles at Piper.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY - SHORT TIME LATER] (Piper goes through a box of old things.) PIPER: Snakes and ladders, a very unfortunate halter top, but I don't see a little black book. (Piper stops looking into the box.) VICTOR BENNETT: I do. (Victor holds up the little black book. Grams grabs it out of his hands.) GRAMS: Oh. Thank you. VICTOR BENNETT: Don't want me looking up the old boyfriends, huh? (Grams leafs through the pages.) GRAMS: They were in a much bigger book, thank you. No, these contain spells I used to use on the girls when they were younger. VICTOR BENNETT: You used spells on my daughters? GRAMS: Oh, every now and then. (She looks at Victor.) Hey. You try raising three girls by yourself, keeping them in line. How else was I gonna stop them from misbehaving. VICTOR BENNETT: Oh, gee, I don't know. By talking to them? (Grams puts the book aside, her attention completely on Victor.) GRAMS: Talking? (Piper heads over to them.) PIPER: Hey, how's about we just find that damn spell? How's that sound? GRAMS: (to Victor) That's your answer for everything, isn't it? I was essentially a single parent. Patty was dead, and it's not as if you were ever around. VICTOR BENNETT: (chuckles) You wouldn't allow me to be. PIPER: Okay. Do I need to find something to separate you two? GRAMS: You know, your daughters only ended up saving the world every other week. Believe it or not, it might have had something to do with the way I raised them. PIPER: (interrupts) Found it. (reads) "Spell to Resolve Sibling Rivalry." GRAMS: Oh, good, good. (Grams reaches for the book.) I'll get the boys, and you call your sisters. We'll get rid of the rivalry, and then you can use the Power of Three to vanquish the demon, okay? PIPER: (sighs) Great. More magic. (Grams looks at Piper.) GRAMS: Uh -- do you have any other suggestions? CUT TO: [INT. THE BAY MIRROR - PHOEBE'S OFFICE - DAY] PHOEBE: I have a suggestion. (Phoebe walks into the office. Les St. Claire is on the office putting green. He hits the golf ball and it goes down the green into the pocket.) PHOEBE: The next time "Ask Phoebe" wins an award, you should probably try calling Phoebe. (Les looks up. He's on the headset.) LES ST. CLAIRE: (to headset) Hey, let me get back to you, Diane. (He hangs up.) Sorry. Research. PHOEBE: Oh. LES ST. CLAIRE: So what's goin' on? PHOEBE: Uh, did you just hear what I said? LES ST. CLAIRE: Yeah. I wasn't trying to snake the award from you. I was actually gonna accept it on your behalf because I was under the, now great mistaken impression that you were actually taking some time off. (The phone rings. Les answers it.) LES ST. CLAIRE: (to Phoebe) Just one second. (to headset) Yeah, this is Leslie. Hey, Rachel. PHOEBE: Hm. Research? LES ST. CLAIRE: (to Phoebe) Uh ... (softly) ... no, this is personal. (to headset) Yeah, can I call you back? (pause) Great. (He hangs up.) Now, where was I? (He also goes back to his putting. He hits the golf ball. Phoebe puts her foot down blocking the putt before it reaches the pocket.) PHOEBE: You were making some lame excuse about how you were about to accept an award for something you didn't write. LES ST. CLAIRE: Actually, I did write it. (He hands her the paper with the article. Phoebe takes the paper and reads it.) PHOEBE: Oh. (embarrassed) Congratulations. (She hands the paper back to Les.) LES ST. CLAIRE: You know, Phoebe, when ... I write these columns, I'm really-- I'm really trying to channel you and your--your "vibe". PHOEBE: Spare me the false humility. LES ST. CLAIRE: Yeah, it was pretty false. Well, look, why don't we go to this thing together? It's today. It's not too late. You can go and accept the award yourself. PHOEBE: No, I think that you should go accept it and maybe bring one of your phone pals with you. (Les rolls his eyes. Phoebe nods her head.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - DAY] (Paige orbs in with Wyatt.) PAIGE: Okay. Let's make this quick. I have four real angry parents waiting for me in the office. (Victor's face lights up as he sees Wyatt.) VICTOR BENNETT: Well, here's my other grandson. (Victor opens his arms wide ready to give Wyatt a hug, when Grams pushes him aside and reaches for Wyatt's hand.) GRAMS: Um, come along, darling. (Grams leads Wyatt over to the bassinet.) GRAMS: I need you to stand by your little brother. Right there. VICTOR BENNETT: (to Grams) You do know what you're doing, right? (Grams opens the little black book.) GRAMS: (smugly) Paige, dear. We're getting our wiccaning. PIPER: I said maybe we have a few more pressing issues to deal with at the moment. PAIGE: Hmm, what changed your mind? PIPER: Nothing. Although it's getting harder and harder to say no with the arrival of a new family member every five minutes. GRAMS: All right, are you two ready to finally get along? (Baby Chris coos in the bassinet. Wyatt looks up guiltily at Grams from under his eyelashes. Grams starts the spell.) GRAMS: (reads) Cast your petty jealousies to darkest night. Let these feuding siblings no longer fight. (As soon as the spell is cast, orb light rise out from Wyatt and Chris. The orb lights linger up high in the ceiling. Paige, Piper and Grams stare upward at the orb lights.) PAIGE: Ok. Shouldn't those stop now? PIPER: Grams, are you sure this is the right spell? PHOEBE: (o.s.) Remind me to never go on sabbatical again. (Phoebe walks into the attic.) (The swirling orb lights suddenly move and fuse into the three girls suddenly changing their behavior back into those of children.) PHOEBE: (pouts) 'Cause that Leslie is such a jerkface! PAIGE: Oh, please, you so like him. PHOEBE: (whines) I do not! PIPER: Do, too! (Wyatt looks guiltily at his aunts.) PHOEBE: I do not, Piper! PAIGE: So like him. PHOEBE: I do not, Paige. PIPER: Do, too! PHOEBE: Do not, Piper! PIPER: Why don't you just marry him already? (While the girls bicker, the masked demon appears in the attic behind Wyatt.) PHOEBE: Why don't you just marry Leo? PIPER: 'Cause I already did. PHOEBE: (teasing) Leo. Leo. PAIGE: I don't want to get married. (The masked demon reaches out a hand to Wyatt. Even though its from behind, Wyatt's force shield appears and protects him from the masked demon. The masked demon is zapped and flies backward crashing in to the piles of attic stuff on the side.) GRAMS: Girls! He's here. Piper, blast him! (Piper looks at the masked demon and screams. She's too scared to do anything.) (The masked demon slowly rises to his feet.) GRAMS: Girls! (Phoebe, Paige and Piper run out of the attic.) (Grams turns and looks at the athame on the table. She motions with her hand and the athame is thrown swiftly at the masked demon. The masked demon disappears and the athame lodges into the wall.) VICTOR BENNETT: (to Grams) Hmm, any more great ideas? (Grams says nothing.) FADE OUT (COMMERCIAL SET) FADE IN. [INT. MANOR - MAIN HALL -- DAY] (Phoebe rushes down the stairs heading straight for the front door. Piper and Paige follow her.) PHOEBE: I am so outta here! PIPER: Phoebe, do not go out that front door. PHOEBE: Try and stop me. PIPER: Phoebe! (Piper holds out her hand to stop Phoebe and sends a powerful force at the vase shattering it. Phoebe whirls around at Piper.) PHOEBE: Jeez! Blow my head off, why don't you? (Grams appears at the top of the stairs.) PIPER: Oh, come on. It was an accident. GRAMS: Paige, no one leaves this house until I reverse that spell. (Phoebe turns around intending to leave.) PIPER: Phoebe, don't. GRAMS: I mean it, Paige! PAIGE: Sayonara. (Paige orbs out of the house.) GRAMS: Paige! (After Paige leaves, Phoebe slowly turns toward the door.) GRAMS: Uh, Phoebe? PIPER: Phoebe, don't you dare leave this house. (Phoebe heads for the door.) PHOEBE: (whines) Why not? Paige did. PIPER: That doesn't count. She probably went to magic school. PHOEBE: Yeah, well, I'm going to the Reader's Choice Awards. (Phoebe opens the front door and smirks back at Grams and Piper.) GRAMS: Phoebe, you've got more important things to worry about than some silly award - (The door slams shut behind Phoebe.) PIPER: (rubs it in) Way to go, Grams. GRAMS: (sighs) Piper, don't be rude. PIPER: (shouts) Look, it's not my fault. It's only the stupidest book ever. (Grams steps down from the stairs and opens her little black book looking for a particular spell.) PIPER: And you said the stupid spell would work, and it didn't. So you know what? I'm ... (Grams reads the spell as Piper continues to rant.) GRAMS: Let this girl, PIPER: ... making a new rule now. GRAMS: Quick as a sneeze, PIPER: ... the new rule is ... GRAMS: Stop this snit PIPER: No more magic in this house. GRAMS: And quickly freeze. PIPER: Do you hear me? No-- (The spell immediately freezes Piper. Victor steps down from the stairs, a grandson in each arm.) (Grams sighs.) GRAMS: That's better. VICTOR BENNETT: Why is my daughter a statue? GRAMS: She's fine. She'll thaw out in a minute. (Grams heads for the dining room. Victor looks at Piper's frozen form.) VICTOR BENNETT: (scoffs) Yeah. How do I know she won't be this way forever, that it won't backfire like your last brilliant spell? (He turns and follows Grams into the ... [INT. MANOR - DINING ROOM - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Grams walks around the dining room table.) GRAMS: Have you heard a peep out of those boys? No. Because the spell worked, pulled the rivalry right out of them. (She sits down.) Unfortunately, it went into the nearest set of siblings. In this case, the girls. (She opens the Book of Shadows.) Anyway, they know everything that's going on in their adult lives. The only difference is they're not adults. VICTOR BENNETT: Yeah, well, just tell me how to get them back to normal. GRAMS: Easy. I just have to figure out a reversal spell. Hopefully before the demon returns. Oh, we've gotta get the boys to magic school. They'll be safe there. VICTOR BENNETT: All right, tell me how to get there. GRAMS: You don't. Magic school is not for mortals. VICTOR BENNETT: Well, they'll just have to make an exception, won't they? (Grams shuts the book and stands up.) GRAMS: Forget it, Victor. Call Leo. He'll take them. (Grams leaves.) VICTOR BENNETT: (bellows) Leo! CUT TO: [INT. UNDERWORLD - SEER'S CAVE] (Down in the center of the Seer's cave there is a large stone cauldron filled with a silver-colored bubbling liquid. The Seer steps up to the cauldron and waves her hand over the liquid. THE SEER: Kind of an odd place for an Elder to visit. (Leo steps out from behind the wall.) THE SEER: Then again, the word is you can't get enough of the dark side these days. LEO: Someone from the underworld is after my son. I wanna know who. THE SEER: You mean the demon? Nah. I don't think so. They know better by now. LEO: Obviously, somebody doesn't. (The Seer moves closer to Leo.) THE SEER: Tell me, what makes you so sure it's not an Elder, someone who thinks that maybe your friend Gideon was right? (Leo reaches out and grabs The Seer around her neck.) LEO: Not any more Elders are gonna die by my hands. I can't say the same thing for demons. THE SEER: (taunts) Can you even tell the difference anymore? (Leo tosses The Seer away from him. She falls back across the room and lands on the floor. She looks at him.) THE SEER: You know, I'm kinda liking this new side of you. It's not as goopy. LEO: Last time. Who's trying to kill my son? (The Seer gets to her feet.) THE SEER: You want an answer? You'll find it in there. (She points to the large cauldron. Leo turns and looks at the bubbling mercury in the cauldron. The shape of a head rises up out of the mercury. He stares at the image: It's him.) (The Seer smiles.) (The head sinks back into the bubbling liquid.) THE SEER: Looks like the only threat to your son is you. (Leo grabs The Seer by her neck and lifts her up off the ground.) LEO: No! It's a lie! THE SEER: The pool never lies. (Leo drops The Seer to the ground.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - DINING ROOM - DAY] (Grams and Piper sit at the Dining Room Table. They each have a notebook. Grams is trying to write a reversal spell while Piper stubbornly doesn't.) GRAMS: Ok, try this. "Words that cast a sibling glow ... " (Grams stops reading. Piper is refusing to work with her.) GRAMS: Piper. (Piper doesn't answer for a moment.) PIPER: What? I told you, I'm not doing this. I'm not writing anything down. (Piper throws the notebook on the table.) I'm not doing magic. (She throws the pencil on the table.) GRAMS: Do you remember the first time you were this age, when I sat you and your sisters down and we had "The Talk"? (Piper closes her eyes.) PIPER: Grams, I already know all about sex. And no offense, but I don't wanna talk about it with you 'cause that's really gross. GRAMS: Oh, not the sex talk, silly. The witch talk. PIPER: So what did you tell us? GRAMS: Why being a witch was such an important part of my life and what it meant to me and what it might mean to you someday. PIPER: Did you tell us that Prue and mom were gonna die? Or that Leo was gonna lose his marbles, or that demons were gonna be chasing after us all the time everywhere? GRAMS: Piper, I didn't know any of those things were going to happen. But if I did, I would've done everything in my power to stop it. Baby ... (Grams holds Piper to her.) I'd like to think that being a witch gave you the inner strength you needed to deal with all those sadnesses in your life. Did you ever think about that? PIPER: No. (Leo orbs into the room.) LEO: You called? (Piper turns and looks at Leo.) PIPER: No! (She turns away and wipes the tears from her eyes.) PIPER: But hi! (Piper gets to her feet and stands to greet Leo.) GRAMS: Victor called you. He's in the other room. (Leo turns and looks for Victor. Piper turns and follows Leo out of the room.) GRAMS: Piper, where are you going? (Grams stands up to follow them.) [INT. MANOR - CONSERVATORY - DAY - CONTINUOUS] (Leo enters the room and finds Victor holding a sleeping Baby Chris in his arms.) LEO: What's up? VICTOR BENNETT: How are you, Leo? Hey, you don't look so good. (Wyatt is in front of them playing.) PIPER: You know what, dad? You could try maybe being a little bit nice to Leo. What do you think, huh? (Leo glances at Piper.) LEO: Piper, are you ok? You don't seem -- (Grams puts an arm around Piper.) GRAMS: (interrupts) Oh, she's fine. We're fixing it. VICTOR BENNETT: Leo, we need you to take the boys to magic school for their safety. (Leo looks down at Wyatt and hesitates. Grams notices his hesitation and steps in.) GRAMS: Do you have a problem with that? (Leo takes a beat too long to answer her.) GRAMS: Never mind. We'll, uh, just keep them here. LEO: I can take them. GRAMS: You don't look like you can. LEO: What are you saying? GRAMS: I don't know what's wrong with you, Leo -- LEO: Nothing is wrong with me. (Leo steps forward and takes Baby Chris from Victor.) GRAMS: (concerned) Where are you going? LEO: To protect my children. (Leo takes ahold of Wyatt's hand and orbs them all out.) PIPER: (loudly) You know, I don't understand why you guys have to be so mean to Leo. You know, in case you haven't heard, he's kind of going through a hard time right about now. I mean, jeez! (Piper storms loudly out of the room. Grams sighs and turns to look at Victor.) GRAMS: We gotta turn these girls back fast. I'm gonna finish the spell and get Paige. Uh, make yourself useful, okay? Get Phoebe. (Grams turns and leaves the room.) (Victor grimaces at her back.) CUT TO: [EXT. READER'S CHOICE AWARDS OUTSIDE RECEPTION - DAY] (A waitress walks by carrying a tray of wine-filled glasses.) PHOEBE: Oh, I'll take one of those. (Phoebe grabs a glass of wine. She's standing near the post and looks at the table nearest her.) PHOEBE: (giggly) This is so cool. They didn't even card me. (Les walks up to Phoebe.) LES ST. CLAIRE: I didn't expect to see you here. PHOEBE: No. I changed my mind 'cause it's my award, and I'm not gonna share it with anybody. So there. LES ST. CLAIRE: Phoebe, are you drunk? (The mike whistles.) EMCEE: If I could please have everyone's attention. (Everyone's attention turns to the front.) EMCEE: Ahem. This year's winner of the San Francisco reader's choice award for single best column is ... (Phoebe hands her wine glass to Les to hold for her. She smiles in anticipation of hearing her name being announced.) ... The Bay Mirror's Phoebe Halliwell. (The crowd applauds. Phoebe claps for herself and jumps up and down with giddiness. She takes a step forward to head for the stage, when Les stops her.) LES ST. CLAIRE: Hey, it's not too late. If you still want me to go up there for you, I can. PHOEBE: Yeah. Nice try. (Phoebe heads for the stage.) (Phoebe runs up and jumps onto the stage. She grabs the award and stares at it.) PHOEBE: Thank you. Wow. This - (She moves to the podium and starts talking in the mike.) I mean, this is so awesome. This is so, like, totally, amazingly awesome. (Les watches her, shakes his head and sighs.) Really, totally awesome. Thanks. WOMAN IN AUDIENCE: Uh, in your column -- PHOEBE: Yeah. You mean the bestest column in all the world? (Phoebe waves the award in front of her.) WOMAN IN AUDIENCE: Yes. You gave great advice to that woman. I'm just curious. Was it based on something that happened to you? (Les slowly makes his way to the stage.) PHOEBE: Um, yeah, actually. It did happen to me. It was very sad. Okay, next question. WOMAN IN AUDIENCE: Wait. Wait. Would you mind telling me what that thing was? PHOEBE: You mean -- You mean what -- You mean what happened to me? LES ST. CLAIRE: (interrupts) It was actually something that happened to me. (He turns and looks at Phoebe.) If I can answer the question. (Phoebe grabs Les' hand and pulls him up on stage with her.) PHOEBE: Oh, yeah. LES ST. CLAIRE: I'm lucky enough to work with Phoebe at the paper. (The Woman in the Audience sits down and grabs her wine glass. As Les talks, Phoebe bounces on her feet.) Anyway, a few years back, this girl, she dumped me, and I was really broken up about it, 'cause I thought she was "The One," you know, ... (Phoebe adjusts the mike, raising it higher and moving it closer to Les' mouth.) ... and the whole thing made me gun-shy about relationships -- So, anyway, Phoebe takes me aside one day, and she says - (Phoebe rises on her toes and blows in Les' ear distracting him for a moment.) -- She says, uh, let me tell you about "The One." "The one is the person who sees you for the idiot you are, "but they still want you in their life. That's the one." (Phoebe clutches her award to her chest and looks around the stage.) LES ST. CLAIRE: And I told her, I said, "Phoebe, I think that's great advice and not just for me," and I guess that's really how it got in her column. (The audience applauds.) PHOEBE: Thank you. Yeah. That's what happened. (Phoebe edges away from the podium and makes her way off the stage.) PHOEBE: Thank you. Okay. (Phoebe steps down from the stage.) PHOEBE: Oh, my god. (She turns around and looks at Les.) Oh, my god, Leslie, thank you so much. (Phoebe jumps on Les and wraps her legs around him.) PHOEBE: I was so scared up there, and I was so nervous that I thought I was going to hurl. (Les chuckles.) LES ST. CLAIRE: You're welcome. Are you all right? You still seem a little ... (Phoebe jumps down and stares shyly at Les.) PHOEBE: Yeah, I'm fine. I can't believe I just hugged you. (She smiles and turns.) Okay, I have to go. (She bounces away from him.) (Les watches her leave and chuckles to himself.) CUT TO: [INT MAGIC SCHOOL - CLASSROOM] (Paige opens the door and peers into the class.) PAIGE: Ben? (Ben stops writing on the chalkboard.) BEN: Miss Matthews. PAIGE: Yeah. Stop calling me Miss Matthews. It's Paige. BEN: Okay, uh, Paige, is there something I can help you with? PAIGE: I would actually like to talk to you for a little bit if I could. (Ben nods.) CUT TO: [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - HALLWAY - CONTINUOUS] (Paige pulls Ben out into the hallway.) BEN: Paige, what's going on? What'd you call me out here for? (Paige jumps up and kisses Ben on the lips.) PAIGE: That. (She looks at him with a huge grin on his face. She frowns.) PAIGE: Oh, my god. How old are you anyway? BEN: Twenty-one. PAIGE: Okay, big mistake. No. One kiss, okay? Shh! That's it. We're not going to second base. BEN: Oh, come on. GRAMS: (o.s.) She said no. (Grams steps closer to them and looks at Ben.) GRAMS: (chastising) Robbing the cradle. You should be ashamed of yourself. (Grams takes Paige and leads her away from Ben.) GRAMS: Come along, dear. Time to grow up. PAIGE: I'll dream about you. (Grams and Paige leave. Ben leans against the pillar and sighs as he watches them go.) CUT TO: [BASSINET] (Baby Chris is sleeping in the bassinet.) [INT. MAGIC SCHOOL - GREAT HALL - NIGHT] (Wyatt is sleeping fitfully. Leo paces the floor as he watches over them. Wyatt wakes up.) (Suddenly, the masked demon appears in the Great Hall in front of Wyatt. Wyatt's force shield activates. Leo turns and sees the masked demon.) (Leo fires streams of electricity at the masked demon. It hits the demon and pushes him up against the Great Hall's doors.) LEO: Wyatt! (The masked demon lands on his feet. He holds his hands apart and powers up. He first at Leo just as Leo fires at the masked demon. The two streams of electricity meet in the center, each canceling out the other.) (The two are evenly matched.) (Each increases the strength of the power behind their streams of electricity. The two electrical beams continue to cancel each other out. Stray bolts wildly fire around the room.) (One hits the masked demon in the face. The masked demon falls to the floor.) (Leo stares at the demon. The masked demon turns around and stares at Leo.) (It's Leo.) (Leo's stunned as he stares at his own image.) LEO: What? (Off screen, we hear footsteps approaching.) (Leo and Demon Leo turn and face the doorway as Paige and Grams step into the Great Hall. They all stare at each other.) (Demon Leo fades out of the Great Hall leaving Leo to look questioningly back at Grams.) FADE OUT (COMMERCIAL SET) FADE IN. [EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - NIGHT] [INT. MANOR - CONSERVATORY -- NIGHT] (Phoebe sits at the table and doodles in her notebook. She has, "Mrs. St. Claire. "Leslie Leslie Leslie", "Leslie is hot", written in curley letters along with stars, hearts, rainbows, butterflies and lipstick kiss prints on the page.) (Victor stands on the side and watches as Phoebe picks up the phone to dial. She blows a huge bubble from the gum she's chewing.) (The phone rings. Leslie answers it.) LES ST. CLAIRE: (from phone) This is Leslie. Hello? Hello? (Phoebe quickly hangs up.) (Piper walks into the room. She motions for Phoebe to give her the phone.) PIPER: All right, give it to me. I'm calling him myself. PHOEBE: No, don't you dare! PIPER: Phoebe, do you wanna know if he likes you or not? (Victor stands on the side and watches in amusement.) PHOEBE: Yeah, but wait. If he asks, I'm not here, okay? I'm not even in the house anywhere. PIPER: Okay, already. PHOEBE: Okay. (Piper grabs the phone and starts dialling.) PIPER: (mutters under her breath) Phoebe and Leslie sitting in a tree, K-I-S- S-I-N-G (Phoebe tries to grab the phone back from her.) PHOEBE: Give it to me! (Phoebe climbs on the chair trying to grab the phone from Piper.) PIPER: No. PHOEBE: No. Hey. (As Phoebe and Piper struggle to gain control of the phone, Paige and Grams orb into the room.) PHOEBE: Aah! PIPER: Hey! (Grams hands Baby Chris to Paige.) GRAMS: (grimly) Stay here. Protect the boys. (She turns and looks at Victor.) GRAMS: You, come with me. (Grams leaves the room. Victor follows her. Phoebe and Piper have stopped fighting over the phone as they turn and watch Paige with Wyatt and Chris.) (Phoebe tries to grab the phone from Piper, but Piper pulls it away from her.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - KITCHEN - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Grams and Victor walk into the kitchen.) GRAMS: Close the door. (Victor follows her into the kitchen and closes the door behind him. Grams turns around to face him.) GRAMS: I found the demon who's after Wyatt. VICTOR BENNETT: You did? When? Where? (Leo orbs into the kitchen. Grams points at him.) GRAMS: There he is. LEO: No. You're making a huge mistake. GRAMS: Get out of here, Leo. I'm warning you. VICTOR BENNETT: Penny, what the hell are you talking about? GRAMS: I saw this monster attack Wyatt at magic school. LEO: That wasn't me. GRAMS: Well, it sure as hell looked like you. LEO: I know it did. I can explain. It must've been some kind of shapeshifter or something. GRAMS: I don't know any shapeshifters who can get into magic school or any who have Elder's powers. VICTOR BENNETT: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you saying? LEO: He attacked me, remember? I was trying to protect Wyatt. [INT. MANOR - CONSERVATORY - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (The sisters sit at the table in the conservatory listening to the argument in the kitchen. Paige holds Wyatt, Piper carries Chris and Phoebe doodles in her notebook.) PENNY: (from kitchen) Yes. From yourself. PHOEBE: I hate it when they fight. PIPER: That's 'cause of the stupid magic. It's ruining our lives. PHOEBE: It's already ruined mine because now Leslie knows I like him, and I can never leave the house again. PAIGE: Shh, shh, shh. LEO: (through kitchen) This is my son we're talking about. [INT. MANOR - KITCHEN - NIGHT - CONTINUOUS] (Leo pleads his innocence to Grams.) LEO: I would never hurt him. GRAMS: Just like you would never hurt an Elder? (beat) Or kill one? (Leo stops.) LEO: (quietly) Who are you talking about? GRAMS: (accusing) I think you know who I'm talking about. (pause) Gideon. (Leo falls silent.) VICTOR BENNETT: Look, I don't care what you say. Leo's right. He would never hurt his son. GRAMS: And how would you know? VICTOR BENNETT: Because I'm a father. GRAMS: Victor, you have absolutely no idea what the magical world is capable of. LEO: He may not have an idea, but I do. I am not capable of that. (Grams steps forward.) GRAMS: No? Even after all you've been through? Look at yourself. Is it so hard to believe that maybe some dark alter ego of yours might be acting on your true feelings. LEO: What true feelings? GRAMS: Maybe deep down inside, you think Gideon was right. Your son doesn't belong in this world. LEO: That's ridiculous. GRAMS: Is it? Then how else do you explain what happened? Where else could that demon have come from? (Leo orbs out.) GRAMS: Change of plans. We're not reversing the rivalry spell, or at least not yet. VICTOR BENNETT: Why not? I thought -- GRAMS: No, listen. If adult Piper were to find out that Leo was trying to harm Wyatt, it would devastate her. She wouldn't be able to fight him off. VICTOR BENNETT: We're talking about my daughter here, so I get a say in this. GRAMS: (calmly) No. With birthdays and holidays, you get a say. With magic and demons, what I say goes. Now if you'll excuse me ... (Grams turns and leaves the room. Victor angrily holds his tongue and follows her out of the kitchen.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- NIGHT] (Grams is placing crystals around the attic. Victor walks into the attic.) VICTOR BENNETT: I told the girls to stay downstairs until we settle this. GRAMS: There's nothing to settle. Now, if you don't mind, I'm demon-proofing the attic. I wanna keep the children safe. VICTOR BENNETT: Wait. Believe it or not, I really appreciate what you've done for my daughters. GRAMS: Buttering me up won't do you any good. I'm not reversing the spell. VICTOR BENNETT: I don't expect you to. But I do expect you to understand that even though I couldn't be there when they were growing up, I'm here now. And just like you, I wanna do what's best for them. GRAMS: We already are. VICTOR BENNETT: No, we're not. And since I wanna reverse the spell and you don't, I think we should bring in a third party to break the tie, so to speak. GRAMS: A third party? VICTOR BENNETT: Mm-hmm. GRAMS: Who'd you have in mind? Their mother? (Grams laughs. Victor also laughs.) VICTOR BENNETT: Yes. That's exactly who I had in mind. (He stares at her.) VICTOR BENNETT: Do it. GRAMS: Oh, all right. But she's not going to side with you, you know. (Grams waves her hand and bright orb lights swirl in the attic. Patty appears when the orb lights vanish. She looks surprised.) PATTY: Mom? GRAMS: Hmm. PATTY: Victor? VICTOR BENNETT: Wow. Patty, you look great. GRAMS: Oh, stop trying to sweet-talk her. PATTY: What's going on? CUT TO: [INT. UNDERWORLD - SEER'S CAVE] (The Seer talks with Leo.) THE SEER: There's nothing more I can tell you about the demon. (Leo steps closer to the bubbling cauldron.) LEO: You can tell me where it came from. I have to know. Did it come from me? Tell me. THE SEER: Oh, what's the matter? Are you in pain? LEO: Please, I - THE SEER: See? I have a problem. You kind of have a temper. Yeah, and if I don't tell you, then, well, you'll probably choke me to death. And if I do tell you and you don't like the answer, well, then you'll probably choke me to death. LEO: I won't hurt you. THE SEER: Yeah. That's not much of a guarantee. But you could swear on the head of your precious son. LEO: Leave him out of this. THE SEER: There's that temper thing. LEO: I'm not leaving here until I get an answer. (The Seer reaches out and puts her finger into center of the bubbling silver liquid.) (Leo watches intently.) CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - ATTIC - NIGHT] (Grams and Victor are in the midst of a heated discussion.) GRAMS: I'm telling you, she would never get over it. Her own husband trying to kill their child? VICTOR BENNETT: Oh, bull! We don't even know that it's Leo. (Patty turns to Grams as she tries to stop the argument.) PATTY: Mom -- GRAMS: What if it is? You trust Leo to look after those boys? VICTOR BENNETT: Well, better than keeping them locked up in the closet for the rest of their lives. PATTY: (shouts) Ok, guys! GRAMS: Can I just say here that -- (Patty turns to look at Grams as she cuts her off.) PATTY: No. (Grams stops.) PATTY: Victor's right. GRAMS: Patty? PATTY: No, mom. We have to reverse the sibling spell and get the girls back to being adults so that they can vanquish this thing, whoever it is. GRAMS: But the danger to Piper-- PATTY: She's in more danger if we don't. GRAMS: Listen, Patty, I know these girls. I've been with them every step of the way. (Patty motions to Victor behind her.) PATTY: (simply) But we're their parents. (Grams looks at Victor who smiles at her in triumph.) GRAMS: Oh. Oh, well, then fine. PATTY: (gasps) Mom. GRAMS: I can see I'm not needed here. PATTY: No. Come on, come on. I--I-I -- (Grams disappears from the attic.) PATTY: Oh! VICTOR BENNETT: She always was a bad loser. (Patty turns and looks at Victor.) PATTY: Yeah. She'll get over it. By the way, Victor, I've a question. Why'd you call on me to settle this? VICTOR BENNETT: The girls were in trouble, and you were the only person I could think of, dead or alive. PATTY: Humph. Still. It was teenage trouble. It's kind of unfamiliar territory for us. VICTOR BENNETT: Look, I know we had our troubles, but I think that if we'd been given the chance, we'd have done a really good job raising those girls. (Patty smiles, pleased.) VICTOR BENNETT: You wanna see 'em? PATTY: (smiles) Are you kidding? (She takes a couple of steps, then stop.) Wait. Wait. Wait. When you said the girls reverted, what exactly did you mean? VICTOR BENNETT: You'll see. CUT TO: [INT. MANOR - CONSERVATORY -- (Victor and Patty approach the Conservatory where the girls are.) (They look up and see Patty.) PHOEBE: Mommy! PIPER: Hi, mommy! PAIGE: Hi, mommy. (They all rush over to her and hug her wherever they can grab her. Phoebe grabs onto Patty's leg and sits down. Piper hugs Patty and Paige touches Patty's hair.) PHOEBE: Mommy, I'd like to sing a song. PIPER: Mommy, I have something ... PAIGE: (in wonder) Look at your hair. PATTY: (to Victor) I see the problem. VICTOR BENNETT: Well, there's another problem. PHOEBE: (near the floor) Excuse me! I'd like to sing a song ... VICTOR BENNETT: Your mother took the reversal spell. PATTY: That's okay. I got one of my own. Now, girls ... girls, calm down. (Phoebe looks up at Patty.) PHOEBE: Mommy, I met this boy, and he's really, really cute. PATTY: We'll talk about the boy later and everything else because we've got so much to catch up on, but right now, I need you girls to stand over there. PIPER: Is Leo a demon -- PATTY: (interrupts) Now! PIPER: Okay. PATTY: Please. (Paige heads over "there". Phoebe remains behind still clinging to Patty's leg.) PIPER: (looks down) She said now, Phoebe. PHOEBE: I heard her, Piper. (Phoebe gets up and heads over "there".) PATTY: Ok. Ok, guys. PIPER: T-day, Phoebe! PHOEBE: (whines) You're so bossy. (All three girls are standing over "there".) PATTY: Reverse the spell from the book and please restore what was ... took. (At the bad rhyme, Victor glances sideways at Patty. She can feel his look.) PATTY: (shrugs) I made it up when I was nine. (The glowing blue orbs rise out of the girls and head back into Wyatt and Chris. Wyatt stares disgruntled at Chris in the bassinet.) VICTOR BENNETT: So, how's this work exactly. You remember everything that happened? (Oh, yeah.) PHOEBE: (appalled) Oh, my god. Yes. Leslie. PAIGE: (shocked) Oh, my goodness. I tongued a student. VICTOR BENNETT: Uh, Piper, there's something I gotta tell you about Wyatt and Leo. PIPER: No, Dad, I already know, and you're right. Leo would never hurt Wyatt. PAIGE: We overheard everything you guys were talking about. PIPER: Okay, let's go. We've got a demon to kill and a child to save. (Piper walks past her parents and heads upstairs. Phoebe and Paige follow. Patty watches them go.) PATTY: (proud) That's our girl. VICTOR BENNETT: Hmm. DISSOLVE TO: [INT. MANOR - NURSERY - NIGHT] (Wyatt sleeps fitfully in his bed. Piper, Phoebe and Paige hide as they wait for the demon.) PIPER: Are you sure this is gonna work? PAIGE: How many times are you gonna ask me that? PIPER: Sorry. I'm just nervous. Just wish we knew what the hell is going on. PAIGE: Yeah, well, whatever's going on, it's pretty sure the demon has something to do with Leo. (There's a silent pause.) PAIGE: What? I'm just saying. PHOEBE: Do you ever wonder what it would've been like if mom and dad both raised us? PIPER: All the time. (Suddenly, the Leo look-alike appears in the room next to Wyatt's bed. He turns and looks directly at Piper. Piper's stunned to find herself looking at Leo.) PIPER: Oh, my god. PAIGE: Piper, it's not Leo. Throw the potion. (Piper throws the potion. The vial breaks at Demon Leo's feet, the smoke rises up and over Demon Leo.) (Nothing happens.) PAIGE: Okay, that should've worked. (Demon Leo picks up Wyatt.) PHOEBE: Piper! (Piper blasts Demon Leo. Nothing happens. He looks right at her.) (Demon Leo and Wyatt both vanish out of the nursery.) (Camera holds on Piper and the girls.) FADE OUT (COMMERCIAL SET) FADE IN. [INT. MANOR - PIPER'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT] (Piper walks into her bedroom. Paige and Phoebe follow.) PIPER: You promised that the potion would work. PAIGE: It was supposed to. I couldn't have made it any stronger. (Upset, Piper stops and checks in on Chris.) PIPER: Well, why didn't it? Are you kidding me? We can't stop someone from stealing my son? PHOEBE: Okay, you need to calm down and just try to focus on how to find him. (Patty and Victor walk into the bedroom. Paige sits down. Piper sits on the bed.) VICTOR BENNETT: Girls, I think your mother may be onto something here. PATTY: It's just that this seems somehow vaguely familiar to me. That's all. PAIGE: Familiar how? PATTY: I'm not sure. You said you saw the demon appear at magic school. Do you know what Wyatt was doing before? PAIGE: Sleeping? PATTY: Or maybe dreaming. VICTOR BENNETT: He also appeared in the attic when everyone was arguing. PATTY: In front of Wyatt. PHOEBE: The demon showed up right after Grams snapped at Wyatt. PIPER: Would somebody please tell me what's going on? (Patty sits down on the bed next to Piper.) PATTY: When you were a little girl, right after your father and I split up -- VICTOR BENNETT: You started having a lot of bad dreams. Doctor called them night terrors. PATTY: He said it was your subconscious way of blaming yourself for our breakup. PAIGE: You're saying Piper is the cause of your divorce? PATTY: No, no. No. Of course not. It was ... VICTOR BENNETT: Other things. PATTY: Right. Yeah. All this family history stuff is really interesting, but how is this gonna help us find Wyatt? (Phoebe sits down on Piper's other side.) PHOEBE: I think what they're saying is it's the same thing. Wyatt is blaming himself just like you blamed yourself. PATTY: Except because Wyatt is so powerful, he made his night terrors come to life whenever he felt conflict. PIPER: Why would he make something up to hurt himself? And why Leo? (Leo walks into the bedroom.) LEO: Because I'm the bad guy. As far as he's concerned, if I hadn't killed Gideon and saved him, I wouldn't be so lost. I'd be around here. I'd be home. He thinks it's all his fault. PAIGE: That's ridiculous. PIPER: No, it's not. I can relate. (There's a moment of quiet as everyone ponders this.) PHOEBE: (to Leo) How did you figure this all out? LEO: Let's just say somebody helped me look in the mirror. PIPER: So how do we find him? LEO: We go to where he thinks it all started. Where I killed Gideon. WHITE FLASH TO: [INT. UNDERWORLD - CAVERN] (Demon Leo kneels down in front of Wyatt who stands in the center of the Vulture Demon's cavern amidst all the discarded skulls and bones.) DEMON LEO: This is gonna get your mommy and daddy back together ... one way or the other. That's what you want most of all, isn't it? (Demon Leo steps aside and vanishes.) (Out jumps several Vulture Demons hissing and snarling at Wyatt.) (From behind Wyatt, streams of electricity shoot out and the vulture demon explodes. More vulture demons appear. Leo fires more electricity. Piper waves her hands and blasts the demons. Together, Piper and Leo vanquish the demons attacking Wyatt.) (The last demon gone, Demon Leo steps back out from the shadows.) (Wyatt turns around and looks at Piper and Leo.) (Leo kneels down in front of Wyatt.) LEO: (softly) It's not your fault, Wyatt. None of this is. (Piper also kneels down in front of Wyatt.) LEO: You didn't do anything wrong. I'm the reason things are all messed up ... me, not you. You and Chris and mommy mean everything to me. You're the things that keep me from falling apart. PIPER: Come on, baby. Come home. Daddy's not going anywhere, I promise. (Wyatt looks back at Demon Leo. Demon Leo vanishes.) (Leo rushes forward and picks Wyatt up. He hugs him. Piper also stands up. Leo turns to Piper.) LEO: I'm so sorry. PIPER: It's not your fault. It's not anybody's fault. LEO: Still, I don't know what to do. I-I don't know how to find my way again. PIPER: Yes, you do. You just have to try. CUT TO: [EXT. THE BAY MIRROR (STOCK) -- DAY] [INT. THE BAY MIRROR - PHOEBE'S OFFICE -- DAY] (Leslie's sitting on the couch and typing on his laptop. Behind him, through the windows, we see Phoebe walk through the bullpen toward the office.) (She knocks on the door frame.) PHOEBE: Can I come in? LES ST. CLAIRE: Sure. It's your office. PHOEBE: May I sit down? LES ST. CLAIRE: Please. Please. (Phoebe sits down at the end of the couch.) PHOEBE: Uh -- I-I just came by to thank you for what you did yesterday. LES ST. CLAIRE: Are you kidding me? After that nice, long hug, you know, I figured I came out ahead on the deal. PHOEBE: Yeah. That--that was the three martinis talking. LES ST. CLAIRE: Well, you had wine and just one glass. But anyway ... PHOEBE: W-well, I hugged you because I was just, you know, grateful for what you did. LES ST. CLAIRE: Well, I don't know. You squeezed me pretty tight. PHOEBE: Yeah, I was pretty grateful. LES ST. CLAIRE: Oh, come on, there was nothing else besides gratitude behind the hug? PHOEBE: What would you like there to be? LES ST. CLAIRE: Just admit it. You like me. PHOEBE: How can you be so sure of that? LES ST. CLAIRE: Well, I don't know, the twenty-eight phone calls in two hours? (busted) LES ST. CLAIRE: (nods) Caller I.D. PHOEBE: Yeah. Well, that was because my redial button was broken. So it just kept redialing. LES ST. CLAIRE: Ah ... PHOEBE: Yeah. And you were the last number I called, you know, so it just ... LES ST. CLAIRE: Right. PHOEBE: Well, thank you. (She waits a beat, then gets up and leaves.) (As soon as she's out of the office, Les puts his laptop aside and eagerly stands up. He looks out the glass window into the bullpen and watches Phoebe walk across the office.) LES ST. CLAIRE: (to himself) If she turns around, that means she likes me. (Phoebe walks out of the office and across the bullpen.) LES ST. CLAIRE: (to himself) Come on, Phoebe, don't let me down. (She grabs her messages from her assistant and heads toward the door. Les continues to watch her) LES ST. CLAIRE: (to himself, urging) You can do it. Turn around. (Phoebe stops at the door, pauses a beat, then turns around to look back at Les.) (Les smiles. Through the reflection in the window, we see Phoebe pause, then continue out of the bullpen.) LES ST. CLAIRE: (softly) That-a-girl. CUT TO: [EXT. HALLIWELL MANOR (STOCK) - DAY] [INT. MANOR - ATTIC -- DAY] (Patty stands in front of the Book of Shadows, both her hands are flat on the Book's cover. She stares at it for a long moment, completely lost in her own thoughts.) (Camera moves around Patty and we see that Victor's standing nearby watching her.) VICTOR BENNETT: Are you okay? (Patty looks up at Victor and smiles.) PATTY: Yeah. It's just leaving's always the hardest part. VICTOR BENNETT: Oh, maybe I shouldn't have -- PATTY: No. No. No. I'm glad you did. I wanted to be here for this, for them. It's just ... (sighs) ... hard. You know. Price I pay for being dead, I guess. (He chuckles.) PATTY: We missed a lot ... not being able to raise them together. VICTOR BENNETT: I know. But we made up for it a little bit today, didn't we? PATTY: Yeah. PIPER: (o.s.) All right, already. Break it up. Kids entering. (Piper carries Chris as she walks into the attic. Paige and Phoebe follow. Leo brings up the end with Wyatt in his arms. Leo's clean-shaven and looking much better.) PAIGE: Gra-a-ams, are ya coming down? PHOEBE: Ah, she's being a martyr. PAIGE: Grams, please? PIPER: Last call, woman! GRAMS: (echoey v.o.) Oh, very well. (Grams appears in the attic.) GRAMS: Just so we're clear, my way would've worked, too. Nevertheless, you're all forgiven, except Leo. LEO: Why not me? GRAMS: Because I owe you the apology. I'm sorry, I thought you were evil. Not that you could blame me. LEO: Hah. That's an apology? VICTOR BENNETT: I'd take it if I were you. PIPER: All right, let's do this before I change my mind. (Piper steps forward and gives Chris to Grams. She steps back and takes her place next to Leo. Wyatt's between them. Piper lightly touches Wyatt's nose and looks down at him.) GRAMS: I call forth from space and time, (Camera starts with Patty and Victor, then slowly pulls back on Paige, Phoebe, Piper and Leo.) GRAMS: matriarchs from the Halliwell line. Mothers, daughters, sisters, friends, our family's spirit without end ... (Bright golden lights magically appear one by one into the attic as the spirits are called forth. They swirl around the attic, then flare as all the ghostly/spiritual forms appear.) (Camera holds a beat, then ... FADE TO BLACK ========================== THE END ========================== [Captioning made possible by Spelling Entertainment, Inc. Captioned by the National Captioning Institute www.Ncicap.Org] Courtesy of http://www.webphilia.com/~anthology/wnp.html Contact the Transcriptionist at (intrepidly002@yahoo.com) Do not archive this transcript without permission from the Transcriptionist. ========================== TITLE/OPENING CREDITS ========================== CHARMED 7X03: CHEAPER BY THE COVEN ORIGINAL AIR DATE ON WB: 09/26/2004 TRANSCRIBED FROM WB Starring: ALYSSA MILANO as Phoebe Halliwell ROSE McGOWAN as Paige Matthews and HOLLY MARIE COMBS as Piper BRIAN KRAUSE as Leo Wyatt Created by CONSTANCE M. BURGE Guest Starring NICK LACHEY as Leslie "Les" St. Claire JAMES READ as Victor Bennett JENNIFER RHODES as Penny "Grams" Halliwell FINOLA HUGHES as Patty Halliwell TAC FITZGERALD as Ben and CHARISMA CARPENTER as Seer Consulting Producer: JONATHAN LEVIN Co-Producer: DEBRA J. FISHER Co-Producer: ERICA MESSER Co-Producer: JEANNINE RENSHAW Producer: ROB WRIGHT Producer: HENRY ALONSO MYERS Producer: CURTIS KHEEL Producer: PETER CHOMSKY Producer: HOLLY MARIE COMBS Producer: ALYSSA MILANO Supervising Producer: MARK WILDING Co-Executive Producer: JAMES L. CONWAY Produced By: JON PARE Written by MARK WILDING Directed by DEREK JOHANSEN ========================== END CREDITS ========================== Executive Producer: BRAD KERN Executive Producer: AARON SPELLING Executive Producer: E. DUKE VINCENT Spelling Television Inc., A Paramount / Viacom Company Story Editor: CAMERON LITVACK Co Starring: PETER BREITMAYER as Emcee MANDY FREUND as Female Fan MARC WILSON as Rex (P3 employee) Music By: JAY GRUSKA Casting by: LESLEE DENNIS, C.S.A. Original Casting by VICTORIA HUFF, C.S.A. Director of Photography: JONATHAN WEST, ASC Production Designer: PAUL STAHELL Editor: PAUL FONTAINE Unit Production Manager: JOHN PARE First Assistant Director: VINCENT GONZALES Second Assistant Director: ERIC OLIVER Executive in Charge of Talent: PAMELA SHAE Costume Designer: EILISH Camera Operator: KRIS KROSSKOVE 1st Assistant Camera: RICHARD SOBIN Chief Lighting Technician: KURT JOHNSON Asst. Chief Lighting Technician: DON LEHMAN Set Designer: ROLAND HILL Set Decorator: ROBINSON ROYCE, S.D.S.A. Leadperson: MICHAEL ZUFELT Property Master: ROGER MONTESANO Assistant Property Master: SCOTT COCKEREIL Script Supervisor: NANCY SOLOMAN Costume Supervisor: DANIELA GSCHWENDTNER Dept. Head Key Make-Up Artist: NANETTE NEW Key Make-up artist: ANI MALONEY Key Make-Up Artist: BRET MARDOCK Dept. Head Key Hairstylist: AUDREY FUTTERMAN-STERN Key Hairstylist: LANA HEYING Sound Mixer: BRETT GRANT-GRIERSON Location Manager: BOB BOYLE Transportation Coordinator: MARTIN CABLENZ Production Coordinator: RICK NAPOLI Post-Production Coordinator: LARRY GOLDSTEIN Production Accountant: SUSAN SLATTERY First Company Grip: STEVE GAUSCHE 2nd Company Grip: TOM HAM Construction Coordinator: STAR FIELDS Stunt Coordinator: NOON ORSATTI Special Effects Coordinator: RANDY CABRAL Special Effects Shop Coordinator: VINNIE BORGESE Visual Effects Supervisor: STEPHEN LEBED Executive Associate: RENATE KAMER Casting Associate: KIMBERLY LENAE FOSTER Assistant to Brad Kern: DOUG E. JONES Assistant to Jon Pare: ANDREA CONWAY Assistant to the Writers: NATALIE ANTOCI Assistant Editor: ERIC LEA Music Editor: NINO CENTURION Supervising Sound Editor: JEFF CLARK Music Coordinator: CELEST RAY Re-Recording Mixers: JOSH SCHNEIDER / BRUCE MICHAELS / KEVIN VALENTINE Film and Electronic Laboratory (tm) by LASERPACIFIC MEDIA Lenses and Panaflex(R) Camera by PANAVISION(R) Digital Sound Editing and Mixing by LASERPACIFIC MEDIA Digital Visual Effects by ENCORE VIDEO Executive in Charge of Production: GAIL M. PATTERSON Executive in Charge of Post-Production: KENNETH MILLER This motion picture is protected under the laws of the United States and other countries. Any unauthorized duplication, copying, distribution, exhibition or use may result in civil liability and or criminal prosecution. The places and characters depicted herein are entirely fictitious, and any similarity to any real places or people is purely coincidental. (c) 2004 by Spelling Television Inc., A Paramount / Viacom company. All rights reserved. Country of First Publication: United States of America Spelling Television Inc., is the author of this film / motion picture for the purpose of Article 15(2) of the Berne Convention and all National Laws giving effect thereto. TheWB.com Dated:09/29/2004~lky http://www.webphilia.com/~anthology/wnp.html